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Guys, I've got a kind of problem and I'm at the point where I'm willing to consider your various advices.  It's not something that's going to be easily fixed, and chances are if you lot suggest the typically predictable answers or solutions, I'm going to ignore them.  I'll list the things you needn't bother replying with later, with reasons, but for now, let's get the problem on the table so you can start dissecting it.

I'm in love.  Usually a good and dandy thing, but sadly, not for me.  You see, it's not a nice loving relationship that we all want, whether we believe it or not.  It's the classic cause of poetry, unrequited love.  For those that don't know what it is, and to clarify to those that do, it's where I'm in love with someone, but I'll never be with them.

A while ago, I met someone.  We hit it off immediately, and right now, we're best friends.  We love each other, and we'd hate to lose each other.  We'd have been together if it weren't for one small detail.  I met her when she was already in a relationship, and I helped her plan her wedding.  I was still in the early stages of the love at the time, so I thought 'It's just a crush' or similar teen magazine way of saying it.  But it was more than a crush.  She had feelings for me, too, both pre- and post-wedding.  If it hadn't been for the husband, I'm pretty sure we'd have got together romantically, and most likely married, too.

She's perfect.  It might be my biased view, and that she's only perfect in my eyes, but nevertheless, I adore her.  She's the only person in the entire world that I've actually really cared about.  As far as I'm concerned, she IS my world.  I'd do anything for her, all she has to do is ask.  I honestly don't think I'd be able to cope without her.

The thing is, the only thing I want in the world more than her, is for her to be happy.  At the time of the wedding, I believed marrying the other guy would be the best thing for her.  From what I knew of him, he was a good catch and he loves her, and she loves him.  During the build up to the wedding, she'd have doubts and second thoughts and the usual, and I was the one reassuring her she was making the right decision.  There's a part of me now that wishes I hadn't, but the past is the past, and hindsight's always 20-20.

By the time that she got married, I was fully in love with her, and even then, she loved me, and was having second thoughts.  Again, I told her marrying him was the best course of action, even on the morning of the wedding.  So, yea, as you can see, this is partly a problem caused by my lack of forethought.

Wedding day comes, and whilst I'm glad that she's having the best day of her life, I'm also dying a little inside.  I can pretty much pinpoint the moment my heart broke, for the first time.  But, she's my best friend, and I tell myself that I'll get over it soon enough.

Fast-forward a couple of months, and I'm now living 4 doors away from her, seeing her everyday, and I find out she's still got feelings for me.  But, we both take promises very seriously, and she's made a vow to the husband.  I don't want her to break a vow, and the last thing I want is to jeopardise her marriage.  She might've been considering a different path, but again I talked her out of making a hasty decision.  Again, hindsight.

And now, six or seven months later, and I'm still living near her.  She's still married.  Though, nothing's been mentioned feeling-wise for what seems like forever.  She doesn't want to lose me as a friend, as I really am her best friend, and she really does love me, and dreads the thought of losing me.  Of this, I'm certain, but as for possible romantic interest? I only know my side of the situation.

My side is that my heart's been breaking over and over since the day of the wedding, getting worse and worse, day by day.  I'm happy whenever I see her, and I'm a friend of her husband, but if I see them as a couple, it's agony.  Since time's moved on, I see them more as a pair than I used to see her alone.  It's getting harder and harder to deal with.

I can't begin to explain just how much I love her, and I'm still completely IN love with her.  She's all I think about, day in and day out, 24/7.  If I ever lost her, even as a friend, I honestly don't think I'd be able to go on.  I'm sure most of you won't understand, but to the few that do, I hope you're actually with the person you feel this way about.

Whilst I love her, everytime I see them to together, it's like the worst pain you could imagine, and I see them a lot.  It's eating away at me, and I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  Chances are, I'm either going to lose it mentally, or I'm going to do something stupid.

Due to money issues, and various other factors, she's recently suggested that instead of us (the three of us) renting two small houses, we could move into one much larger house.  That set off alarm bells in my head and my heart, and I've been a mess since (about a week ago).  I don't think I could do it.

I can accept that she'll never leave him, and I would never ask her to.  In fact, if she suggested it, I'd likely end up talking her out of it.  I can accept the fact that I'm going to die alone, as there's no one I've met before or after her that has come anywhere near in comparison.  I'm not going to get over her, I know that for sure.  I've even dealt with the daily pain, until recently.  It's got harder and harder, but I've managed it, and I've hidden how much it hurts me from her.  But living under the same roof as the cause of the pain is just too much to bear.

She knows that I'm having some kind of mental thing going on, preventing me from agreeing to the move instantly, but she'll want a definite yes or no on the situation pretty quickly.  She thinks it's that I'm freaking out about living with other people in general, and she knows I'm having trouble with coping in general, so she's suggested that I see the doctor about it.  Possibly for anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills, or something like that.  Whilst they might take the edge off things, they're not going to do a damn thing about the root of the problem, so I'm wary of the idea.

And so on to the problem.  What the hell do I do now?  Where do I go from here?  I'm at a loss, and sleep deprevation's not aiding my thought process one bit.  I'm getting to the point where reality is going sort of wonky, and I'm quite frankly sick of crying myself to sleep.



Things that aren't options:

Running away.
I've thought about this, a lot, and I can't live without her.  There's no point running away, as it would both hurt her and leave me so empty inside I might as well be dead.

Suicide.
She'd never forgive me if I tried it, and I'm terrified that not only might I fail, but also that there's afterlife.

Telling her.
Regardless of her feelings towards me, it'd stress her out if she knew how I felt, and she has enough things to worry about, without me adding to the list.  If she doesn't feel the same, she'd hate me for trying to come between the marriage*.  If she did feel the same, she made a vow that she'll keep, so it'll mean we're both trapped.
*(I promised her I'd never do anything to come between them, and telling her would in effect break that promise).

Getting over her.
This isn't going to happen, I'm sorry.  I love her more now than I ever did, and there's genuinely no one in the world that could compare to her.  You might think that I'm being naive, but I can only tell you that I will only love her, and hope you can fathom that.

Sabotaging their relationship.
Whether it be dropping hints, out-right lying, or even killing the husband, it's not going to happen.  Breaks the 'don't come between us' promise mentioned above.

Binge Drinking/substance abuse.
I'm already an alcholic, and she's pretty much saved me from myself once.  I'm not going to screw that up, she'd hate me.  I'll admit, in the last week or two, I've had more alcohol than the rest of the year combined, but I've not been drunk.  It's more to help me try to get some sleep.

Any daft ideas.
Like time-travelling back, and meeting her first.  If you going to suggest something like this, then make sure you have a working time-machine, and not just a toaster, a couple of lightbulbs and some foil.  If it works, fine.  If not, please don't bother.



I really am starting to lose the plot, guys.  So if you've got any suggestions, theories, whatever, I'd love to hear them.  If you've any ideas on or experiences with broken hearts, unrequited love and anti-depressants, then please share them.  I'm literally at breaking point, here.



(Apologies for the length of the post, I tried to keep to the basics as much as possible, but I could've written a thousand times that on just how much I adore her, and the same again on how much it hurts).

[Prehistory-1888: The twinkle in the camera's eye.]

Okay boys and girls, pop the kettle on, take the phone off the hook, pull up a chair, clear your calender and brace yourselves for a rather long post.  Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin..

I've been watching a whole heck of a lot of movies recently, as research of sorts for a project.  I've surely devoted too much time to this, as my brain has started ticking over, and I've been thinking about the evolution of the movie industry over the years.  So, instead of keeping these theories to myself, I thought I'd throw them out into to the world, and get a somewhat fresh perspective on them.  We'll start up with a broad generalisation of the industry of the last century, likening it to the life of some average John Q. Public schmo, such as yourselves.

I've tried to break the lifespan in to various sections, keeping those sections relatively loose.  They may overlap, but nothing in life is all that accurate so it kind of fits.  I'm also basing this on Hollywood, not Foreign Cinema, Independent Films nor Animation.  I've tried to not be genre specific, either.  Anyhow, here goes..

Prehistory-1888: The twinkle in the camera's eye.

Man saw some animals, and decided that he'd decorate his home with them.  The art got better, the tools got more complex until Bam! some guy takes some photos of a horse.  Courtship had begun, but Film's mother was a prude.  Three years later, in 1880, he projects them onto a screen.  Eight years later some other guy experiments with his new-fangled contraption, films "Roundhay Garden Scene", and cinema is born.  Sleepless nights have arrived, and the world will never be the same again.

1888-1927: The formative years, in baby steps.

Film was a bit of a slow starter, and there were fears mummy dearest was sniffing paint thinner whilst she was pregnant.  At the turn of the century, movies were still short.  An epic movie was a couple of minutes long, though I'm sure Peter Jackson could still make it an incredibly boring and drawn out few minutes if he was around at the time.  Thankfully, he wasn't, and films were new and exciting.  The industry realised money was to be made from using projectors in rooms, instead of the old method of sticking your face up against a box and cranking a handle to find out What The Butler Saw.

Techniques were being developed, fantastic advances like "film continuity", "lighting" or the ever popular "slow motion".  After a while, they even decided to hire writers.  Things were looking up, the baby had dribbled on itself, and was giggling like a simpleton, but the cinema going public were captivated.

Eventually, Film got up off it's ass and tooks it's first few steps, and with the likes of Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin as stars, spent a good few years falling on it's ass over and over.

1927-1939: First words to bad words.

In The Jazz Singer, the first "Talkie", Al Johnson plays a Jew who pretends to be black, with boot polish on his face and a song in his heart.  Honestly, if this was made today, there'd be uproar from various activists, but at the time, Jewish and Afro-American press praised the movie, and in all the movies that had blackface make up, this was the only one where the make up was central to the plot, and not just an excuse to laugh at the black guy.

In two years, Hollywood Film had a full vocabulary and set out into the big, wide world to win the hearts and minds of the people.  Like the George Bushes and their Road to Baghdad escapades, only with the action scenes being performed by professional stuntmen.  Stars were recognised globally, and they really did have star quality in those days, not just implants or a chiselled jaw and low IQ.  Admittedly, Shirley Temple was one of those stars, but everyone makes mistakes from time to time.

Dialogue was now important.  More important than funny looking guy who manages to survive the variety of cartoon violence inflicted on him.  The kid would have to entertain people with words from now on, and laughing at the fact that his diaper needs changing just isn't going to cut it anymore.  Sadly, along with his ability to speak, Film found he could also sing, and dance, and prance around like a choreographed oaf.  Clark Gable frankly didn't give a damn.

1940's-1960's: Swinging moods and dropping balls.

Film was undergoing some changes, it was starting to become more confident in what it was doing, but at the same time, it couldn't decide if it wanted these changes or not.  One day, Film looks down, and realises those hairs weren't there before, and those hairs were all the colors of the rainbow.  Oh dear, Puberty in Technicolor.

In amongst the kerfuffle of color, with cinema's "voice" going up and down in pitch, hue and saturation in an unfathomably erratic way, lasting the better part of two decades, there were some real classics of cinema.  The majority of the "Top Movies Ever" are likely to come from this period.  Maybe it was tweenage angst, maybe it was Film rebelling against it's folks, maybe it was just dumb luck, but the movie industry was in it's Golden Age.  Heck, film even managed to take stories from the Bible and make them seem interesting for over three hours at a time.

1960's-1970's: Smells like Screen Spirit.

Todays typical teenage boy likes the simple things in life.  Action, adventure, gadgets, big guns, fast cars and loose women.  Much like Film did in the 60's and 70's.  Explosions? Good.  Death rays? Awesome.  Steve McQueen riding around San Fransisco in a Mustang? Yes, please.  Some punk making Clint Eastwood's day? Go ahead.

The sets were changing, too.  Instead of some studio back lot in LA, now the movies were made all over the place.  Film was out and about, living life to the fullest.  Sure, it wasn't always the best of living, and sure he dabbled in some substances he should've left alone, but the main thing was he was out there, exploring, experiencing, experimenting.

Film also starts to take more of an interest in the opposite sex, and this time it's not as someone who'll be easy to beat at in game of catch.  Films notices the curves, the skimpy outfits, the fishnets, the high heels, the leopard print mini-skirt, the poorly applied cheap make up.  Film's fallen in love, and he's picked a slag.

Now, I'm not going to get into the porn industry thing, as that's a whole different issue that'll take just as long to explore.  For now, lets just assume Porn was a childhood friend of Film, who looked up to him, and wanted to be just like him, only Porn couldn't keep his pants on.  That's not to say Film didn't think along the same lines as Porn, he just had stricter parents.  He did like to try his luck as often as possible, though.

For example, women were far more likely to be covered up until now.  Sexploitation movies were at their most popular.  Unlike the British sex comedies of the day, which weren't sexy, and rarely that funny.  It was usually either the Carry On team making films out of jokes they found on seaside postcards, or it was Robin Asquith, playing a guy with a name like Randy, making an ass of himself with some suburban housewife.  If we were really lucky, he'd be joined by ex-PM Tony Blair's father-in-law, or a woman who made her name selling gravy.  A real turn-on.

But in America? It was usually less about comedy, and more about getting flesh on screen.  Other ~xploitations were popular, too.  Take Pam Grier, dark skin, glossy make-up, big breasts, bigger 'fro and the ability to fire a gun without knocking herself off her disco heels.  Another cult star is born, wearing hotpants and kicking ass.

Which reminds me..  Cult Movies.  There's a whole heck of a lot of movies from this time that are considered "Cult", despite being dreadful.  I've never understood why for most of them.  There's some 50's Sci-Fi I loved, and plenty of 80's trash I adore, but the one's from the 70's?  I guess there's only so much disco I can take.

1980's: The College Years.

Now, I understand some of you feel that college or university is a place of learning, but this is about movies, and in movies the textbooks are used more to even out wobbly tables, stop bullets, weigh down paper, or elevate diminutive leading ladies to eye-level of the hero for the kissing scene.  The colleges in movies are about one last chance to have fun.  Not any kind of fun but the inane, anarchic, power-fighting, machine-raging, trashy, ripped jeans kind of fun.  Like putting the contents of the Dean's office in the parking lot, or sneaking into the girls locker room, or fighting ninja zombies or robot pirates with pithy one-liners.

Most film makers weren't so bothered about making thought-provoking cinema in the 80's.  There were some classics, sure, but even those were usually more about entertainment than anything.  Robocop may be a modern day portrayal of Jesus Christ, but he's also part man, part machine, all awesome.  Take Arnold Schwarzenegger, take Commando.  One man versus an army, using flowers as cover in a gun fight.  It may not bother with boring things like science or even common sense, but hell, it was fantastic.  Oscar winning acting, quality scripting? As long as you throw in some wise cracks, a couple of boobs or Corey Feldman, you're on to a winner.

Maybe it was the attitude and approach to film making back then, maybe it was the popularity of VHS, the new "straight-to-video" genre that caused the movie's moods.  Maybe more amateurish movie makers wanted to get in on the Box Office Blockbusting craze.  Maybe it was a crowd of coked up yuppies greenlighting every project they could find because they were so high they couldn't tell if they were a real person or a character in one of their dumb movies.  Perhaps it's just nostalgia, perhaps it's my unwillingness to grow up, but something changed in with the movies, and the industry was never this enthusiastic or carefree about entertainment again.

1990's: Bigger than Big Business.

Film has moved on, cleaned up his act, bought a fancy suit and got a sensible haircut.  It's time to think about the future, careers and whatnot.  Gone are the good times, now the main thing in life is business.  Movies are made with the aim to make money.  Accountants are more important than artists.

The movies of the 90's are more refined than the previous efforts, but sadly, they're also becoming homogenised, generic and quite often rather boring.  Stars are now picked for bankabilty over actual talent.  Sure, some of those stars have talent, but a lot are just there for the ticket sales.  It doesn't matter if they find some unknown guy to play a character perfectly, when they can invest some funds to get a star attraction to play the role adequately.  Even the writing is becoming rather stale.  Sequels are profitable, despite becoming tired re-treads of the previous movies.

Movies have money thrown at them, but not necessarily in the right way.  The industry thinks that flashy effects will fix a rather dodgy movie and turn a profit.  Waterworld, for example.  Kevin Costner as part man, part fish?  Instead of making a cheap TV movie, like it could've been, they threw a fortune at it.  And who could forget Cutthroat Island?  Well, just about anyone who's actually seen it.  Surprising that a big budget movie about pirates, of all things, could be a box office flop.  It still managed to bankrupt Carolco, though.

Newer effects were also coming into fashion.  If the effects weren't new and exciting, then the profits wouldn't be so fantastic, either.  In the past, effects were done manually.  Models were made, make-up was applied, stuff was blown up.  It was somewhat costly, sure, but it was tried and tested.  Most of all, if they weren't done by imbeciles, they often looked amazing.  Then, someone decides it's a better idea to fire up the PC.  Not to write the script on, though, oh no..

"Remember Tron? I can make the whole film that cool with a few clicks".
"But, can you make it realistic?"
"Not yet, but I'm cheap."
"Welcome aboard."

Soon, everyone was jumping on the CGI bandwagon.  The wagon might be rickety, and pulled by an arthritic donkey, and driven by a guy who refuses to stop and ask for directions, but everyone still wanted on.  If CGI is good, then it looks seamless.  You shouldn't be able to tell what's real, and what's fake.  Sadly, on the majority of occassions, the CGI stood out like a sore thumb, and in case you missed it, it was waving a little flag and yelling at you to get your attention.  Then, at the end of the century, some guys decide slow motion is exciting, and make the Matrix, and moments later the next bandwagon loads up with as many passengers as it can carry, this time pulled by the old donkey's dad.

2000's: The Mid-Life Crisis.

So what do we have these days?  Remakes, sequels, a seemingly endless stream of comic book movies, and what I'm guessing is what some studio executive has pieced together rummaging through the trash at the old offices.  Everytime one of these comic book movies turns up, I watch it.  I don't know why, maybe it's some hope that it won't suck, maybe it's because I convince myself that it'll be good, maybe I just love the idea of superheroes, but almost everytime, it turns up and disappoints.  I liked Batman Begins, I admit, but the rest?  I could spend a lifetime complaining about them.

The Industry is failing, I'm sure of it.  I'm sure it knows it, too.  It's getting grey hairs, it's struggling to get rid of that beer-belly, and it's all downhill from here on out.  So what does it do?  It panics, and pretends to be young and hip again.  New and exciting.  It's palm is blinking, and it wants to renew.

Instead of actresses who can 1. act their out of a paper bag, or 2. hold their liquor and keep their pants on, Film thinks that youth and beauty is the way of the future.  Not natural beauty, but that fake beauty that comes from silicon, collagen and airbrushing.  If they show any signs of intelligence or talent, you'd better recast them quick.  If the industry was married, I'd pity the poor wife.

Aside from the younger mistresses, Film's also buying a flashy sports cars, like the ones in 2 Fast 2 Furious.  It's desperately trying to hold on to youth, and it's quite frankly tiresome.  What's next? A ponytail and an ear piercing?



2007, in my opinion, was awful.  Out of the various Hollywood movies released, I somewhat enjoyed three, maybe four.  It's baffling to me just how bad movies are becoming.  I'm not talking about the independent movies, because they've always been hit and miss, I'm talking about the big movies, that make it to cinemas.  The ones made by so called professionals.

But, are they actually getting worse?  Or is my opinion that jaded, that it's making me think there's something wrong?  If I'm right, then what percentage of the public doesn't notice the movies are bad?  Do they just turn up and watch, without making an opinion?  Do they even know if they like the movie or not?  The industry evolved, but has the audience devolved?

So what's the future of Film?  Will it get worse and worse?  Will it improve for a time, then retire to making endless remakes because it's forgotten that they've been done before?  Will it just give up and spend it's autumn years tending it's azaleas or finishing it's memoirs?



*(Honestly, I expected it to be a briefer history than this.  There are a few ideas I omitted as I felt things were getting far too long as it was.  Apologies for any eyestrain caused, and assuming you didn't just skip to the end, thank you for your time.  I'll get back off the soapbox for now).

It's rare that I post, and even rarer than I'd actually start a thread, but needs must as a something or other..

I've finally decided to bother working up enough enthusiasm to begin a project of sorts.  However, I've already hit a wall and am in dire need of help.  No, I not asking for people to make the thing for me, and this isn't a recruit a team type of thread.

Let me start with the basic premise.  An episodic adventure, featuring a pair of private detectives, in six parts.  It's not a rip-off of the latest Sam and Max games, it's actually an old sitcom plan I've had knocking about for years.  Since I'm not in contact with any of the folk who were involved with the film and TV industries anymore, I've opted to re-plan it as a set of adventures.

It was originally six half-hour episodes, each one loosely based on a movie.  At the time of it's conception, there were no full-blown comedies about murder mysteries, but the murder mysteries had a few comedic moments in them.  (At least, none that I was aware of).  There was a niche for it, so some planning went ahead.  The main characters were developed, and some movies were picked for parodying.

It's not been too difficult to adapt the plan for making games, in fact it's probably better as budgetary issues are no longer a concern.  A few of the movies are still appropriate, but there's two gaps in the series that I just can't seem to fill.  Which is where you folk factor in..

•    Episode 1 is currently empty.
•    Episode 2 is based on the Maltese Falcon.
•    Episode 3 is also empty.
•    Episode 4 is based on the Hound of the Baskervilles.
•    Episode 5 is based on North-by-Northwest.
•    Episode 6 is based on Kiss Me Deadly, and in some respects, Repo Man.

Episodes 1 and 3 has left me drawing a blank, despite spending most of the day trawling through imdb.com, and seeing the same movies over and over and rejecting ideas again and again.  It's become quite annoying.  For now, let me fill you in on the basic themes and movement from episode to episode:

• Episode 1 is undecided.  The plot revolves around the main character, with his "sidekick" as a small role, just to set things up for later.
• Episode 2 is a search for a valuable object that's been stolen.  The main character drives most of the story.  The sidekick leads the story near the beginning, but doesn't show up after that.  This one could quite conceivably have been a remake of The Pink Panther, but I'd rather not parody a comedy.
• Episode 3 is undecided. It involves both the main and the sidekick, solving the mystery together.  The sidekick is still sort of learning the profession, so is with the main character a lot.
• Episode 4 is more supernatural case.  The sidekick leads the first half, and the main character takes over for the second.  Two major locations, to add more variety.  (The most famous and recognisable of the Homles stories).
• Episode 5 is a case of mistaken identity, with a road movie type feel.  The action centres around the main character, in a possible cross country chase, and allows for more shorter, obscure and differing locations than all the other episodes.  (Could have been The 39 Steps).
• Episode 6 is a more sci-fi orientated case, with a mysterious object/MacGuffin plot device.  The action centres around the sidekick.

So, Episode 1 needs to set up the characters.  He's already a private detective, and it's not his first case.  For the moment, he works alone, but has known the sidekick for a while.  IE, the sidekick doesn't give him the case.

Episode 3 however, generally needs a Sherlock Holmes sleuthing duo type plot, but not actually Holmes.  Baskerville's is my preferred Holmes option, and I'd rather not have two movies that are too similar, but more on that later.  A buddy cop movie *might* work, but I've not managed to find anything to pique my interest.

The episodes will only be *loosely* based on the movies, but only up to a point.  I wanted people to look at the sitcom episodes and recognise where the basic ideas were from.  I'd like to keep that recognition in the games, but the games will allow more creative freedom.  As long as the plot is similar to the movies, up to a point, I'll be happy.  A sort of "inspired by Such-and-such" feel.

Only things I've been semi-happy with for those empty slots have been Chinatown and The Dead Pool.  They've not jumped out as instant winners, though.  Everything else I've considered has been too similar to one of the others or just hasn't fitted with the theme/mood/whatever of the series.

Most sci-fi movies, horror movies, comedies and romances wouldn't suit the characters/settings.  Nor would time travel or other fancy or absurd plotlines.  Think normal-ish plot.  Think 20th century.  Think Earth.

Right, on to your job:
   Find me a movie (or two, with a couple of sentences explaining the choice).
   Failing that, a very general plot idea like the above to get my, or other people's, thoughts moving.

I've been driving myself ever so slightly insane, trying to figure out what to add as the missing movies, and I really can't face it much more.  I'd also like to have the full set before proceding so that I can plan the series as whole.  So, I'm turning to you lot for some much needed assistance.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.



(Also, in the hopes that this doesn't escalate to something it shouldn't, could we please avoid making this into some sort of general "Movies that could be a Game" thread.  And yes, I've already ruled out Weekend at Bernie's).

The squid thing.
In Sharky and George.

I've googled it, and I can't find his name anywhere..

Some pics, to jog your memory:



Please help, before I take to bashing my head open to explore the contents for an answer..

It's driving me crazy.

A post that was made in my stupid "Slag off SSH" thread started me thinking of a subject I've pondered on in the past, more than once.

You topic is bad and you should feel bad.

Now, I'm not sure if Akumayo was being serious or not, that's beside the point.Ã,  However, I did start wondering.Ã,  Is there anything I regret?Ã,  If I had to chance to go back, and put right what once went wrong, would I take that leap?

After giving the idea a fresh barrage of brain cells, I came to the same conclusion I always do:

"No".Ã, 

I'm not being egotistical and thinking I'm always right, and have always acted accordingly.Ã,  However, I don't actually regret anything I've done.Ã,  You see, the way I view the world, regret and remorse are for the most part pointless emotions.Ã, 

So, you feel bad for something you did.Ã,  Boo hoo.Ã,  Does feeling bad about something make you feel better in some way?Ã,  No.Ã,  You just end up feeling more and more guilty, and to what end?Ã,  At some point, you just have to move on and forget about the whole incident in the first place.Ã,  So why not just skip the whole mid-section and take things in your stride to begin with?

There's a whole ethical set of reasons to begin with, that's been indoctrinated into us from birth.Ã,  Animals don't feel remorse.Ã,  They do stuff on instinct alone.Ã,  Mankind, on the other hand, has to by a set of morals that with given ourselves.

For example, in courts, people get harsher sentences if they don't show remorse.Ã,  So you murder someone, and at the trial you show that you feel sorry for your actions.Ã,  You get life inprisonment.Ã,  You show no remorse, and they push for the death penalty.Ã,  Now, if the first person knew what they were doing was wrong, and feel bad now, why did they commit the crime in the first place?Ã,  That doesn't mean that if they get let out, they won't kill again.Ã,  As for the second person?Ã,  What makes them think that because he isn't showing remorse, that automatically means if he gets out he'll go on a killing spree?

So far, regrets are there for what?Ã,  To depress you, and to get you out of jail quicker.Ã,  Pointless and unjust.Ã,  Useful emotion, eh?Ã,  Personally, I can't think of another reason for the emotion existing.Ã,  This is the first of my points I'd like to open up to the rest of your opinions.

Now, don't get me wrong.Ã,  I'm not saying I don't learn anything from the situations in the past.Ã,  I go into similar situations with the experiences of the past, and use those to act in the future.Ã,  Learning from your faults is NOT regret.

Apologies.Ã,  Now there's another thing..

I apologise for certain things.Ã,  Accidents, over which we have no real control (IE, bumping into someone that you didn't see).Ã,  That sort of apology is just common courtesy.Ã,  Also, I'll apologise if there if someone has misunderstood me.Ã,  (for example, recently on IRC, someone thought I was being overly hostile towards them, which I wasn't.Ã,  The next time we spoke, I apologised for the confusion and we moved on.Ã,  We had really spoke before that, and he didn't really get me all that well).Ã,  Again, that kind of apology is there for politeness.

Now, if I walk up to someone, and punched them in the face as hard as I could, for absolutely no reason, how would I apologise?Ã,  It's obviously not going to be a genuine apology.Ã,  It was pre-meditated, and has no reason for an apology.Ã,  It can't be genuine, since you wouldn't have done it in the first place if you knew you were in the wrong.Ã,  An extreme example, I know, but it's just there as a point.

Onto my third and final subject.Ã,  If you had the opportunity to go back to a past event, and relive it with your current mindset, would you take it?Ã,  Now, I'm not interested in the whole Butterfly Effect scenario, nor chaos theory, nor cause and effect.Ã,  This comes mostly what from a close friend of mine has brought up in conversation on several occassions.

If given the opportunity, he'd want to go back to his school days and restart his life from there.Ã,  He'd pay more attention in class, get better grades, maybe go on to higher education.Ã,  He'd also live a more full life in the social areas of school, making more friends, standing up to bullies, helping the less fortunate, and generally being more mature and confident than he was the first time around.

Now, when I look at our two situations in school and now, I'm confused why he wants this.Ã,  In school, I was the one who was doing well, getting better grades and such whilst he was distracted and left with few qualifications.Ã,  Nowadays, he's almost a manager in a office, with his life in order.Ã,  I lift boxes for a rubbish wages, and am usually too drunk to pay bills.Ã,  He's looking to get a mortgage, whilst I'm close to eviction.Ã,  He's got a long-term girlfriend, whilst I'm terminally single.Ã,  He's got his life together, whilst mine is falling apart around me.

Yet, he's the one that wants to go back and improve his life, and I'm the one who wants to live each day like it's my last.Ã,  I can't for the life of me figure out why.Ã,  Is it upbringing?Ã,  Friends and family?Ã,  (He moved away shortly after school, so we only see each other every few months, we're still very close).Ã,  Does greed beget greed?Ã,  Is it that he just wants more?Ã,  Is there something that's genetic?Ã,  What makes our views so drastically different on this topic, when most other stuff is so similar?

For myself, I can only say that I wouldn't want to go back and change my life, because then it wouldn't be me anymore, assuming the things I change would after my memory of past experiences.Ã,  But wait, that's cause and effect again.Ã,  If I kept the original memories, and then gained new ones, then surely that's just prolonging life, something which I'm not a fan of.

So, to iterate the main points:

Regrets -Ã,  Do we need them?
Apologies - What are they worth?
Do-overs - Open subject.





Also, Akumayo and anyone who concurred with his sentiment:
The SSH thread was not in the least bit serious, and people who know better knew that.Ã,  I like SSH, and I'm certain he knows it.Ã,  Even for people who don't know me very well, it was blatantly obvious from reading the whole of my post that there was no animosity meant towards SSH.Ã,  He's done a lot for the engine and the community, and everyone knows that.

I rarely, rarely start threads, but he asked for it .Ã,  Since I'm drunk, yet again, I thought I'd oblige.

He's got laid at least twice, and has the proof.Ã,  Which is two times more than the majority of folk in here.Ã,  What more do you want?

I admit, this could've been a PM, but I think the reason for posting it should be a public one.

IE, http://www.xfm.co.uk/article.asp?id=188920

XFM (a London Radio station) announced that there's a weekend of "rock" music events on in Brighton between the 18th and the 20th of May.Ã,  That involves mostly crappy bands, but a few possibly good ones (65 Days of Static? I've heard Al Ninio and Petteri mention them).Ã,  More importantly, it involves several lectures. The ones on the Radio and the site mention Peter Hook and Michael Eavis.

For those that don't know, and can't be bothered to google.Ã,  The Bass player from New Order and the guy who runs the Glastonbury Festival.

I was wondering.Ã,  I know it's out of the blue, and a bit of a cheek for me to ask.. but here goes anyway..

1.Ã,  This question is to you, and the various Swedes currently living in your abode:
Would it be possible to crash on the couch? Assuming y'allÃ, are actually still in Britain at the time?
I'm OK sleeping in a hotel or hostel or whatnot, I'd just rather spend it with you guys. (Andail, Azadeh, Christian, Eric/Erik, Ida/?, Marie).Ã,  Plus we can have fun together, when I'm not attending the lectures (I don't really care much for the gigs, most of the bands seem rather crappy).

2.Ã,  Is Marie willing to actually speak to me again?Ã,  My plan is partly to come down to Brighton for the lectures and to see you, Andail, but also partly to come down and see Marie again.Ã,  Now that I've sobered up, and have a fully functioning brain, I've realised Marie was so awesome that if I was Emo, we'd be due for a tsunami.Ã,  IE, that awesome.Ã,  I feel sad when I think about the fact that I might never see her again.Ã,  As you asked at the café, we did hit it off.Ã,  I was still wasted from the night before, though, and couldn't really form a comprehensible answer.Ã,  So I think I may have just grunted, and shrugged my shoulders.

Assuming the answer to 1 and 2 is both no, after killing myself from feeling so unloved, I still plan to head down there.Ã,  Yuffie, Spaff, others..Ã,  Whilst I'm there, we'll have to meet up.Ã,  Spaff: I won't hurt you, no matter what Yuffie's told you.Ã,  It takes a lot to annoy me.

Well, actually, it doesn't it just takes you being a stranger offending one of my "friends".Ã,  Towel-Boy annoyed me for leaving Yuffie in London alone. "Edmundo-Man" annoyed me in Brighton for, not calling me a "c-word" repeatedly, but for saying "Effing foreigners" at the end, and rather at Marie. That's what put me into an Almost-Hulk Moment.

Anyhow, I digress. I think y'all get the point of this thread (as much as it pains me to make a new one).

Rock. Andy. Marie. Swedes. Yuffie/Spaff. Etc.

Not necessarily in that order.

Rock on, etc..

EDIT:
It's £35 for access to all gigs and lectures.Ã,  All within walking distance of each other, apparently.
Brighton's quite hilly.

[hero worship]
Eric blessed us with a gift, so I thought I'd have a stab at it, too.
[/hero worship]

They'll not pixelled, so it'll need resizing a painting over.Ã,  They are a little more cartoon-esque, tho..Ã,  and you're free to use them.


Apparently the Barbie walk has problems, I'll fix the drunkeness and the x-axis problem in a little while.Ã,  Speed has some issues, too.  It's s'posed to be a bit odd tho, since it's what they teach lasses competing in beauty pageants.

Enjoy.
More will follow.

EDIT:
Fourth one, where I've gone for a more "realistic" look.

Enjoy, etc..

http://www.saltslide.co.uk/

jinkies told me about the scrollbar color, annie told me about the menu's scrollbar.

what else can you folk think of?

Hugs
Iqu

EDIT:
Oh yea, forgot to mention a few things.
1.  "A brief history of Saltslide" a comic, which I'm part way thru making.
2.  The songs section is going to have a "Boogie Mode", where the cartoon version of the band dance along to the track, in various different styles and costumes.  This is going to take a while, tho.
3.  A proper shop section will be made once I work out this stupid "Make your own Amazon" program I have.  I think you need a computer science degree to run the program and a German translator to understand the help section on their website.
4.  The singer wanted me to Lens Flare his guitar in the picture.

Bonjourno, y'all..

A quick update:
So, I'm back for a few days after being pretty much netless for 4/5 months.
My main game, Lump City is going well, with most of the sprites and backgrounds done, needing only embellishment and the like.
Mortal RONbat is being a pain, altho the first pack should be ready in a month or so.  It'll have four chars, a couple of bg's and a nifty loader/intro program.
I've quit boozing, am on nicotine gum and have lost some weight.  My hair is currently red.  My band's now has an EP, and in a couple of days, a website too (where you can buy the EP (please)..).
Anyhow, I had an idea a week or two ago, and went a little something like this:
"The Red Dwarf movie ain't going to be ready for ages.  I like Red Dwarf.  I like games.  Red Dwarf..  Games..  I wonder who invented liquid soap, and why?  I know, a Red Dwarf game.."

And so:




Opinions?
Should I bother?

Hugs
Iqu

Also, plot shouldn't be too hard, due to all the material in books that never made it into show.  Often, the books were funnier.

EDIT:

For those that don't know what Red Dwarf is..
http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/

Hey

First thing's first..

Now, the reason for that elipse? Simple.  Something bad will happen if I didn't post it.  You see, at four am this morning, I woke up to see a man-sized version of n3tgraph's avatar swing open my bedroom door and tell me that I had to do it.  Yea, so it was a dream, a very odd dream, but a dream none-the-less.

However, knowing it was just a dream doesn't help, and I have the gut instinct that I *need* to post that pic.  If I don't, then I've convinced myself either the Mittens flight will crash or my dog will die.  Now it's posted, both disasters have been averted.  There's no way I want to be responsible for offing Britain's finest (and Farl).

The reason I have this "saving the world by stupidly" thing going on, dates back to the fourth of July, 1999.  Me and two friends were in San Fransisco, on holiday.  Jamiraquoi (spelling's probably way off) played a free concert in Union Square.  Me and a friend bought T-shirts to commemorate the occasions.  Now, I have the paranoia that I *have* to wear it on the fourth of July, every year.  In 2001, I forgot.  A plane crashed.  I blame myself.

This got me thinking, tho.  It's not the only paranoia I have.  For instance, if I touch something with my left hand, I'll have to touch it with my right hand.  Often, this ends in a complicated yet, ultimately symmetrical pattern, with me touching the thing the same amount of times with each hand.  This is dumb, I know, but I feel uneasy if I don't do it.  It the same with spinning around, equal spins clockwise and anti-clockwise/counter-clockwise.

Toilet paper.  Another nightmare, this time involving me using exactly the same amount of sheets each time.  If it rips, I have to throw it away and get a new bit.  I don't know why, maybe I'm scared that my ass my fall off..

And sofas.  If I lay on a sofa, my feet have to be towards the left, and my head on the right.  When I tried it the other way round, I felt nauseous and started to freak out.

I have trouble walking nowadays, not from arthritus or anything valid, but because I'm always looking at the floor to see where I put my feet.  I've been known to walk back down a road, purely to step on a certain paving slab that I felt I had missed earlier.  Since I'm usually nocturnal, I end up walking in the actual roads, just because there's less cracks for me to avoid.

I'm sure I have many others, but off the top of my head, I can't think of them.. but, I am worried.  I'm getting worse.  It's not long before I either turn into the poor man's Howard Hughes, living in a hermetically sealed bubble, where everything is symmetrical..  or in a mental hospital, rocking back and forth, crossing and uncrossing my fingers and toes, worrying that the world will fall apart if I don't do it right.

Also, I've found my mother has a paranoia, walking across certain parts of roads, she'll make sure that both feet touch a certain part of it, otherwise she won't feel comfortable.  She always does it, but has only noticed it recently when I was discussing some of my habits.  When I asked her what would happen if didn't do it next time, she didn't know, but got kinda worried about it.

So, I have two questions.  One, what paranoias/Obsessive Compulsive Habits/whatevers do you have?  I'm pretty sure you have at least one, even if you don't realise it at first..  And two, what do I have to do to get rid of these short of a cocktail of psychiatric counselling and prozac?

Hugs
Iqu

Fear not Mittens people, thx to the "green elipse at jaunty angle" you journey will be safe.