AGS Doctor

Started by RetroJay, Thu 16/05/2013 01:18:41

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Baron

Quote from: Ponch on Thu 16/05/2013 22:11:37
Dear Moving Thread AGS Doctor,

Also, am I the only one who finds cows unbearably sexy?

I always thought the Moving Thread was for situational advice, kind of like therapy.  It dealt with problems of the mind.  This seems like a thread where you seek resolution to problems of the physical body, or at least the physical body's immediate fart-sinking surroundings.  So the question is, P, are you lusting after cows with your mind or with your body?

Also I've got this toe thing.... *cough* *cough*

Ponch

Quote from: RetroJay on Fri 17/05/2013 00:33:08
Brother Ponch.

QuoteAlso, am I the only one who finds cows unbearably sexy?

I believe that it all depends on how they dress.
There is a fine line between Sexy and slutty.

Slutty? Cows are the classiest of God's creatures. Didn't you know that? Old school cool, baby! :cool:

I trust this makes things clear for Baron as well (who really ought to get that looked at).

veryweirdguy

Another medical question? To the Docmobile!



I thought it was important NOT to keep this one anonymous, as it's the only way to make sure the problem is tackled head on.

This is a clear case of ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

Just to make it clear, PONCH YOU HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

Many men would be embarrassed by having ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION and having it revealed on a public forum, but you have nothing to be ashamed about other than the fact that you have ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

Now, there is no known cure for ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION (which PONCH HAS), but there are some ways to deal with it. The first way would be to make sure as few people you know as possible know you have ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. The second would be to sit alone in a dark room forever.

Here is a website that can help you deal with your ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

Hope that helped (with your ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION).

Dr VWG Attorney At Law

monkey424

Dear AGS doctor..
Why does it hurt when I pee?
    

miguel

QuoteTo enlarge your toes, simply use one of these to inject cream into your toes, and sit back as the ladies flock to accept your marriage proposals!

Dr VWG

Already feeling much better, Doctor!
Good day to you, sir!
Working on a RON game!!!!!

veryweirdguy

It's time for: THE AGS DOCTOR SMILE TIME VARIETY HOUR!



Because you're wearing nipple clamps when you do it.

Dr VWG Ba(Hons)

monkey424

Brilliant!  Thanks doc!  Feeling much better now having removed the nipple clamps!

Anyone interested in a second-hand pair of nipple clamps for sale?
    

Baron

Hey Doc,
      Apparently fully functional erectile tissue has been found in the tentacles of certain male octopuses.  At the same time, I've got this friend that spends a lot of time alone in a dark room (presumably with a flash light and cow magazines (roll)).  Is there not some sort of Frankenstein-esque transplant surgery that could somehow usefully combine these two items in a functional yet humorous manner?

miguel

I'll offer my self for experiments on my sculpted body if there's food involved.
Working on a RON game!!!!!

Ponch

Thanks for the link to the website, Doc. The world makes more sense to me now. ;)

RetroJay

Hi Monkey424.
QuoteDear AGS doctor..
Why does it hurt when I pee?

I don't know if you are being serious, as this thread has gone to hell...But.
I found this article.

It sounds as if you might be developing (or have already completely developed) Urinary Tract Infection. This is nothing to worry about as it's something anyone can experience. This merely means that there is bacteria and infection in the urethra and bladder which needs to be cleansed out. The most common symptoms of UTI are as follows: Painful/Burning Urination, Unable to completely empty bladder, Frequent Urination. If these are things you are experiencing, then you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor so that you can get a complete examination to ensure that this is a Urinary Tract Infection and receive antibiotics. Don't wait until the pain and signs are nearly unbearable.
While you wait, you should drink plenty of water or cranberry juice (if available) so that you can flush the infection from your bladder. Make sure to urinate whenever you feel the urge. Don't hold it in, for you will end up harboring infection. Whenever you do urinate, make sure to clean around the opening of the penis so as not to allow infection to reenter the body. Doing these things should help your pain and irritation go down some until you can see a doctor.

Hope it helps.
Jay.

kaput

#31
I think the moral of the story here is: don't be afraid to go and see a doctor and, especially, don't seek medical advice from the internet. Nothing wrong with looking up symptoms, though. I'm pretty sure we all do that (or have done).

That's not to say that some doctors aren't completely full of it. Sometimes you'd be just as well putting some ice on it.

cat

Quote from: Sunny Penguin on Fri 17/05/2013 20:11:23
Sometimes you'd be just as well putting some ice on it.

I wouldn't do that for the problems with peeing  :P

RetroJay

#33
Baron.

Show us all a picture of your toe.
I am experiencing a morbid sense of curiosity.

Who knows, maybe someone can help.

Jay.

EDIT:
     For anyone who has dry skin. Try E45 cream on the affected area/s.
     I think it is fantastic and no Doctor ever told me to try it. They just gave me a load of expensive creams that never worked.
     My Mother was the one who found my cure by 'surfing' the web.

Ponch

[celebrity_endorsement]I always get dry skin in the winter (Curse this high desert lack of moisture). That's why I always keep a bottle of Gold Bond LotionTM in my workout bag. It's the only lotion that's manly enough for a manly man like me. Plus it smells like menthol. I walk around for the rest of the day smelling sort of like a pack of Kool cigarettes.[/celebrity_endorsement]

Seriously, it really works and doesn't leave me greasy. (When it's time to greasy myself up, there are other products I prefer. But I'll save that for later in this thread. :wink:)

I hope long-term exposure to all that menthol doesn't give me erectile dysfunction. :=

RetroJay

Brother Ponch.

I will have to try "Gold Bond Lotion". Sounds GREAT!

Smell ya later. (If you smell like 'Kool cigarettes') :-D

Edit:
    Are you cured of the ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION yet? :X

Brother Jay.

monkey424

Dear Dr Jay.

QuoteUrinary Tract Infection

Thanks for your concern. Don't worry though, I was only attempting to be humorous. Laughter is the best medicine after all.
    

miguel

Sure monkey424, next you're going to tell us that a friend of yours has Urinary Tract Infection. It's okay, you know? You shouldn't be ashamed of having Urinary Tract Infection, just like Ponch's ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. He's okay with it and even bathes himself with menthol-based products like he just doesn't care.


Working on a RON game!!!!!

monkey424

I know a guy called Joe who picked up an unpronounceable disease from the toilet seat. But I digress..

I'm pretty sure my problem was caused by the nipple clamps as Dr VWG correctly diagnosed. It was merely a coincidence I happened to be peeing at the time of wearing them.
    

selmiak

#39
Dear AGS Doc,
I have poopoo coming out of my wee wee and pipi coming out of my a-hole. This is so comfusing! How could this happen and what direction do I sit on the toilet now?

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