Insult Swordfighting: Difference between revisions
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===The Secret of Monkey Island=== | ===The Secret of Monkey Island=== | ||
'''Pirates''' | * '''Pirates''' | ||
; My handkerchief will wipe up your blood | ; My handkerchief will wipe up your blood | ||
: So you got that job as janitor, after all. | : So you got that job as janitor, after all. | ||
Line 54: | Line 54: | ||
: How appropriate. You fight like a cow | : How appropriate. You fight like a cow | ||
'''Swordmaster''' | * '''Swordmaster''' | ||
; My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island! | ; My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island! | ||
: So you got that job as janitor, after all. | : So you got that job as janitor, after all. | ||
Line 87: | Line 87: | ||
===The Curse of Monkey Island=== | ===The Curse of Monkey Island=== | ||
* '''Pirates''' | |||
; Every enemy I've met I've annihilated! | |||
: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated. | |||
; You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee. | |||
: I look THAT much like your fiancée? | |||
; Would you like to be buried or cremated? | |||
: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated. | |||
; Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died! | |||
: The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde. | |||
; I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet. | |||
: When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet! | |||
; Killing you would be justifiable homicide. | |||
: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide. | |||
; En garde! Touché! | |||
: Oh, that is so cliché! | |||
; Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated! | |||
: Too bad they're all fabricated. | |||
; When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified. | |||
: At least mine can be identified. | |||
; You can't match my witty repartee. | |||
: I could, if you would use some breath spray. | |||
; I can't rest until you've been exterminated! | |||
: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. | |||
; You're the ugliest monster ever created. | |||
: If you don't count all the ones you've dated. | |||
; I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated. | |||
: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated! | |||
; Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified. | |||
: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside! | |||
; I'll hound you night and day! | |||
: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay! | |||
* '''Rottingham''' | |||
; Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated! | |||
: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. | |||
; When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied! | |||
: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide. | |||
; Your lips look as they belong on the catch of the day! | |||
: When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet! | |||
; You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified! | |||
: At least mine can be identified. | |||
; Your looks would make pigs nauseated. | |||
: If you don't count all the ones you've dated. | |||
; My attacks have left entire islands depopulated! | |||
: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated. | |||
; You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei. | |||
: I look THAT much like your fiancée? | |||
; My skills with a sword are highly venerated. | |||
: Too bad they're all fabricated. | |||
; You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey! | |||
: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay! | |||
; can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated. | |||
: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated! | |||
; I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated! | |||
: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated. | |||
; Nothing can stop me from blowing you away! | |||
: I could, if you would use some breath spray. | |||
; I have never lost a mêlée! | |||
: You would have, but you were always running away. | |||
; Never before have I faced someone so sissified. | |||
: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside! | |||
; Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide! | |||
: The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde. | |||
; Your mother wears a toupee! | |||
: Oh, that is so cliché! | |||
===Escape From Monkey Island=== | ===Escape From Monkey Island=== |