Gay, the insult

[brokenbutterfly]

How many straight men will admit to being flattered when hit on by another man?

Not many that's for sure! For my part, girls hitting on me did happen, and like Disco said, the attention is nice. Why feel disgusted when it's the same sex, while flattered when it's the opposite? It all goes down to the same, someone thinking you look good, or interesting, or original, and liking you enough to strike a conversation 

[MrColossal]

How many straight men will admit to being flattered when hit on by another man?

Back in highschool I was so scared to ask girls out for fear of negative reaction. I can't even BEGIN to imagine how scared a grown up person would be to ask out a member of their own sex for fear of negative reaction/public spectacle/getting the shit beat out of you.

The worst thing I thought a girl would do is laugh, what if I was afraid she'd gather up a bunch of friends and beat me up in the parking lot too?

EEESH

[Vince Twelve]

How many straight men will admit to being flattered when hit on by another man?

Aww hell, that's easy.  I will.  When I was in college, my girlfriend at the time had a good friend who was a gay man.  He would openly say to my girlfriend how much in love with me he was and hit on me all the time.  I quite enjoyed the attention.  It certainly didn't make me worry if I was gay.  I wasn't attracted to him in the least.  But at least someone at the time was acting like they were attracted to me (my girlfriend certainly didn't...   ) and that felt good.

[Buckethead]

Can't believe I've missed this thread. Anyway, I think the reason why people don't like being called gay is because gay is being asociated with stupid. Heck even I (a gay guy) something see something and think.. oh that's so gay. While I actually mean: oh that's so stupid or something. It's just prented into my brain. 

Back in highschool I was so scared to ask girls out for fear of negative reaction. I can't even BEGIN to imagine how scared a grown up person would be to ask out a member of their own sex for fear of negative reaction/public spectacle/getting the shit beat out of you.

That's why lots of gay people use the internet to find people. Or go to gay bars or sauna's and stuff. That way you are sure that the other person is gay too. I can't imagian meeting someone without those things. It's as you said just too scary, so rather take the save way.

[Oliwerko]

I see a big philosophical discussion again, I like it 

Vince has got a point there. If I was asked if I am gay in a serious way (which I wasnt so far), I wouldnt be scared,flipped or upset. It is completely normal question, I would reply negatively and possibly ask how did the person came to that question. That's all. No big deal. If I asked someone if he/she cooks, would it result in making him a professional cook?
And If I've seen someone asked somebody else if he's gay and he would be upset and angry about it, I would think that it is more likely that he is truly gay than if his reaction was normal and mature.

[Becky]

And If I've seen someone asked somebody else if he's gay and he would be upset and angry about it, I would think that it is more likely that he is truly gay than if his reaction was normal and mature.

I'd tend to think he was an immature homophobic twat.

[Cino]

My friends sister played a rather cruel prank on me a few months ago, telling one of his gay friends that I was also gay. That lead to a quite awkward and uncomfortable situation later on. And even after explaining it was a joke on me, I think the guy still thinks I'm gay. I'm not offended by that joke, but it was not a nice thing to do neither.
Anyway, even though I've been hit on by men before, it's still nothing I could ever really get used to. Not that I'm homophobic, but it's just always unexpected or even a bit shocking. Some say you must be great looking to get hit on by other men, but I think I look rather average, so I have no idea why it happens.

[Oliwerko]

Anyway, even though I've been hit on by men before, it's still nothing I could ever really get used to. Not that I'm homophobic, but it's just always unexpected or even a bit shocking. Some say you must be great looking to get hit on by other men, but I think I look rather average, so I have no idea why it happens.

First - everyone looks average, and no one looks average.
Second - I would be also kind of surprised. I think it's partly caused by the uncertainity. You never know if a person is homosexual if you look at him/her at the first time. You can just guess. And when they hit on you, it kind of surprises if you have thought that the person wasn't homosexual.

[Tuomas]

well you got to give them that, gay people are still a minority, and most are in the closet during the sexual seeking period in which people usually group up with others. It's not easy falling in love with a straight guy when he has no interest in you.

And If I've seen someone asked somebody else if he's gay and he would be upset and angry about it, I would think that it is more likely that he is truly gay than if his reaction was normal and mature.

I'd tend to think he was an immature homophobic twat.

Sure, homophobic. Though homosexuality was for long considered a disease and even illegal in places, some of the religious people still don't accept them. Nor do my grandparents. People don't change views just because the media/the law does. I'm not comparing here, but say paedophilia became legal... I still wouldn't like the idea. Of course it's completely different, but it wasn't, at some point, in the eyes of the law.


I've been hit on by men several times, thinking of it, probably just as much as by women. That was when I didn't walk around with a gorgeous blonde next to me. But I never found it offending. Of course it gets you thinking, if you should dress up or walk or talk someway different to seem more hetero, but not to get rid of the men, mostly to attract more women. Though in the end it doesn't work that way.

Anyway, prejudice usually comes from the family or if people are not educated well enough. They Talk to little children about marriages and tease them about girl/boyfriends, but not of the same sex, as if that was to scare them, while I think it mostly scares the parents to see their son kiss another guy. I've kissed plenty of men, but sadly it never felt the same. And I see rows of naked men every week in the sauna, but that never gets me turned on I'm happy though, that knowing my mom and dad, they'd be all right with it. Don't know about their parents then, if one of us was homosexual.

Too much of me, and I'm full of weird perversions anyway. What I was trying to say is that I agree with ProgZ; too much thinking around this. Everything different scares people, and most might not be used to gays around. And to be concluded into the minority is a threat. If you werea leftie politician at a party and realise everyone around you are righties, you'd feel a bit threatened telling them you're different

[SSH]

I sometimes wonder if the way to counteract the peer pressure teenagers have to smoke is to negate it with peer pressure not to be gay. How? Make cigarette manufacturers print the word Gay on all cigarettes (and on rizlas, too, of course).

Of course anyone brave enough to be out anyway probably would have enough nous to avoid taking up smoking...

[Tuomas]

That's actually quite brilliant. Though it would probably make a lot more financial damage to cigarette producers than just the teenagers' interest. And thusly not going to happen.

[Radiant]

Cigayrettes?

[zabnat]

Cigayrettes?

Yes, fags.

[Stupot]

If someone I knew (or even worse, didn't know) sincerely asked me if I was gay, I'd probably flip out too.

That in itself is pretty fucked up.  What is so wrong with someone enquiring about your sexuality that the thought that you could be anything other than straight straight straight! is enraging? 

And If I've seen someone asked somebody else if he's gay and he would be upset and angry about it, I would think that it is more likely that he is truly gay than if his reaction was normal and mature.

I'd tend to think he was an immature homophobic twat.

I absolutely disagree.
My anger at my family asking if I was gay was in no way an immature or homophobic recation.  There is a reason for it.

Put it this way... I can't get a girlfriend... it sucks... sometimes it hurts... my family probably wonder why I rarely bring girls home and never seem to have a girlfriend...  They think it's wierd... They obviously discuss it amongst themselves, put two and two together and make ten... They conclude that I must be gay...

...so not only can I not get a girlfriend, but now my family thinks I'm gay, and the pressure to prove that I am not is even greater, which makes not being able to get a girlfriend that much more of a problem.

I'm not 'truly gay', and I'm not a 'twat', I'm just very shy guy around women.

[Tuomas]

perhaps what you need is to get caught fapping to straight porn.

[ThreeOhFour]

This actually happened to a friend of mine** (who we has suspicions about) . 

Could be tricky to "pull off" though .

**Thankfully, I was not the one who walked in on him

[Oliwerko]

perhaps what you need is to get caught fapping to straight porn.

Haha, yeah, that could work, kinda embarrasing though!

Stu - what you are talking about is totally different case from the one Becky refered to. It is a case of pressure, not just unlogical reaction on "are you a gay?" question. When I am under pressure, I sometimes react angry at any questions...

[Ultra Magnus]

I think LimpingFish is closer to the mark than he (?) has been given credit for.

Every living thing on the planet has a deeply fundamental, primal urge to carry on its species, and humans are no different.
Sex is like the vanishing point that everything else in life is leading towards.

To this effect, in the eyes of some, gay = failure to mate = failure to further the species = failure at the most basic level of existence, stuck at square one being overtaken by amoebas.

But, you know, people understand gay. They may not like it, but they understand it because it's still about having sex.
You try telling someone you're asexual, that you're just not interested in sex regardless of who it'd be with.
They really can't get their head around that.

[Emerald]

What potential do they see in that to be an insult?  And if it's such a terrible thing, why do they dwell on it?

It's just part of the social lexicon. I don't think people really equate it with homosexuality any more.

If someone on the street called out "Hey, Faggot!" I'd be annoyed, not because he's insulting my manhood, but because he's insulting me in general.

It's like asking why being a "dickhead" is an insult. When you call someone a dickhead, you're not stating "you have a dick-shaped head" - it's just an expression of your dislike. Same with 'faggot'.
Gay, the insult, is meaningless.

[Raggit]

Emerald,

I don't see how being called a faggot would insult you but you say the insult is meaningless, when it obviously isn't to you if you are insulted by it.