Personal questions :)

Alynn · Sat 28/01/2006 07:02:02

Ok, I've been absent again, but if you remember I'm moving again, this time to the UK... been really busy.

I have some questions kinda personal in nature, however to be sure I don't break any forum rules I'd like someone that lives in the UK to PM me. Not personal as I'm afraid to share it, but it may have some adult themes that may not be suitable for all audiences

. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more) It revolves around alternate relationships.

In the US you can, if you have the nerve, walk up to a random girl on the street, after making eye contact, or even just if you find her attractive, and start talking to her, attempting to get a phone number or what have you. Does it work the same in the UK? I would assume it would, but it may be different.

Like I said, there are more questions, but they revolve around the first part of this post.

Also, I'ld like to thank all of the UK folks that have helped me out already and answered the questions I have had to this point. With my move only a month away it's eased my mind and gave me an idea of what to expect.

So, please, if you would PM me so I can ask my questions

. The reason I ask here is one of the few message boards I frequent that has a high concentration of UK people.

Thanks again.
Alynn

DonB · Sat 28/01/2006 13:06:25

Am I the only one thinking this post, or perhaps even the author of it, is sick..

if you are such a player who just walks upon girls on the street, you aren't scared of gettin a blue, as we Dutch guys say it, what means getting dumped off..
So what keeps you from just trying it out..
..by the way i don't think that way is alternative.. more nature instinct!

And i can assure you.. the making-eye-contact-walk-upon-her-and-get-a-date-out-of-it tactic works all around europe..

soz if i sound rude.. but this thread is very, very odd..

scotch · Sat 28/01/2006 13:27:00

Such has the moral fibre of this nation decayed that you can now do this before you have been formally introduced, even if the young lady is unaccompanied by a male relative!

Pumaman · Sat 28/01/2006 16:29:25

Quote from: Alynn on Sat 28/01/2006 07:02:02
In the US you can, if you have the nerve, walk up to a random girl on the street, after making eye contact, or even just if you find her attractive, and start talking to her, attempting to get a phone number or what have you. Does it work the same in the UK? I would assume it would, but it may be different.

You can always try ... I find totally original lines like "do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?" work best

However in reality if you start talking to a totally random girl on the street then you're likely to get either CS-sprayed or a large bill at the end of the night, depending on what street it was.

Nikolas · Sat 28/01/2006 17:06:17

I don't know...

I always thought that there are better ways to meet someone (boy or girl), not just find someone random in the street and start talking.

I mean at least find her/him in a conert, pub, cinema, something that points out that you have at least 1 thing in common. At least for me,with music it always works... Actually this is how I met my wife, in a conert... I don't know if this is good or bad but...

Alynn · Sat 28/01/2006 17:34:53

Well the personal part isn't what I want the PM about, the part I asked about is the part that I am sure I can post here....

I ask this because you can do this in the US, in Germany you don't walk up to strangers on the street since they value their privacy, however in a club (or just outside getting some air) is fine. Although there the girl is most likely going to talk to you first, in my experience anyway.

When I mean on the street, it doesn't nessicerily mean walking around out in public, it's talking to any female you don't know.

DonB:
So I'm sick because I'm interested in what is cultrully accepted in a society that I am alien to, so I do not embarass myself or any individual of that culture? I'd like to think smart enough to ask the question before I do so.

CJ: Thats what I was looking for, seems trying to do so may be asking for a pepperspray eyewash, as for the second scenerio, I always look for the red lights just to be sure

.

While I do appreciate the commentary, I don't ask these questions to be cute or funny, these are things that I and my wife want to know. That last sentence might clue you in on the alternate relationship part. So, again, the question is still open I'd like more opinions, just none on how sick I am, or if what I'm asking is "right" or "wrong", I'm asking is is generally socially acceptable to talk to an unaccompanied (because I'm certain if a girl is walking around with any male you should assume that is her significant other, and should not be approached for any reason except maybe fore directions) female. I would like you to stick to the realm of the question.

Thanks again.

rharpe · Sat 28/01/2006 18:13:10

BTW: If you are married the info below is mainly for those that are looking for a friend, future wife, etc. But some of these things still can be used even after you are married. (I misread your post and didn't read the latest one before this.)

If you really are 28 years old, (as your info states,) you shouldn't have any problems communicating with girls. Just be a gentleman. Open doors for them, let them pass before you if they are going in the same direction, say "God Bless you" if they sneeze or cough, offer napkin/handkerchief if they need it, always look at their eyes when you speak and never stare at her imperfections... (or perfections...nudge, nudge.) Try to find things you have in common...and work with it. If you meet her in a certain place, try to figure out what brought the two of you there, which gives you a common interest to start a casual conversation. Don't pressure yourself with outrageous goals or expectations. If you are a gentleman and respectable, you will attract the right girls. If you are handsome...definitely a plus. If you are a smooth talker, yet another good bonus. If you plan to make jokes, to lighten up the conversation, keep them clean and conservative. Be inquisitive but don't ask too many questions... try to talk about what she likes, dislikes, etc. If she wants you to open up first, do so with basic things. Don't give too much at the beginning...this will scare her away. Obviously, these tips won't work for everyone. Just remember, if she's not interested don't annoy her with your persistence. Remember, be a gentleman.

Pumaman · Sat 28/01/2006 18:18:25

Well, it's all about location really, I mean if you're in a club or to a lesser extent a pub, people will expect you to 'randomly' talk to them, it's sort of why they're there.

On the other hand if you're just walking down the high street or in the supermarket, you'll tend to get strange looks.

If you're into swinging-type stuff, it might even be easier just to look up some local 'clubs' on the internet than to start approaching random girls about it

Renal Shutdown · Sat 28/01/2006 19:17:34

Come to Essex. It's difficult to not get laid here.

I, of course, am the exception to that rule.

Alynn · Sat 28/01/2006 19:48:32

Well, see from what I have been reading, you are quite a bit more free to express your alternate lifestyle. Here you are liable to get slapped or publicly embarassed since, generally speaking, that sort of behavior is frowned upon by my society.

My only Euro experience before now is Germany, and you could be much more expressive about such things. Asking a female if shw would be interested in such a meeting would be turned down as if you just asked about yourself, they didn't think twice or look down on you for what you did.

Generally, the internet route is what we have to do here, as the places to post about such matters people are looking for such things to begin with, so I wasn't so much concerned about the internet side, as I expected that. This is more concerned about the real life meeting type things.

The biggest obsticle to us is the fact that we have children, which here is usually a deal breaker here. I'm hoping there are some more open minded people out there.

Closest bigger city to where we will be located is Huntingdon in Cambrigeshire, so I'm guessing we will be in Cambrigeshire as well. Which is about an hour away from London (northward).

I've been doing some searches here and there, just nothing largely serious since I'll be computerless as of the end of this week, but I'm just trying to avoid any "international incidence" if you will

.

Thanks for the serious replies I need to get all my questions in before my computer goes poof on a moving truck.

rharpe · Sat 28/01/2006 21:20:30

Quote from: Alynn...The biggest obsticle to us is the fact that we have children, which here is usually a deal breaker here. I'm hoping there are some more open minded people out there...

Some one educate me here... what the hell is he talking about!? I'm missing something here.

DonB · Sat 28/01/2006 22:29:00

Quotein Germany you don't walk up to strangers on the street since they value their privacy

Believe me.. you can..

QuoteSo I'm sick because I'm interested in what is cultrully accepted in a society that I am alien to, so I do not embarass myself or any individual of that culture? I'd like to think smart enough to ask the question before I do so.

It sounds rather sick to me that you wanna pm with UK guys about adult themes you could just find out yourself..

unless.. you are really the kind of guy who first plans some years before talking to one single girl.. if thats so.. i didnt knew that kind of guys existed.. except for in the movies

i had no need for offending you tho.. xcuse me for that..

Squinky · Sat 28/01/2006 22:59:07

For some reason this makes me think of my car....

(Not really a pic of my car, can't find my camera, but mine is the same...except it's tan....)

rharpe · Sat 28/01/2006 23:02:20

Ok, now I get it! That's disgusting!!!

Nevermind that I even wrote anything in this thread... that's just plain wrong!

Alynn: Don't ask CRAP like that here in these forums, you should be ashamed of yourself! This where people talk about game design and other things CLOSE to that nature. Leave your sexual fantasy-shit out of these forums. This is not an adult link!

My lord, I seriously thought you were just trying to find a way to make a friend. *shakes head in disbelief*

Mods: Why wasn't this thread locked???

scotch · Sat 28/01/2006 23:05:29

We were too busy waiting for the inevitable "rharpe gets it" post

Oh and you know, we aren't you.

Becky · Sat 28/01/2006 23:06:44

rharpe, you are not here to criticise other people's lifestyle choices, that is their own choice and theirs alone.

ManicMatt · Sat 28/01/2006 23:14:12

Rharpe!

I have very loyal values when it comes to being with a girl, and for me to even look at another girl sexually, would be a disgrace upon my own beliefs.

But that is how i feel, if a married couple want to have sexual relations with other people, and it isn't hurting anyone else, then what's the problem? And they shouldn't have to cower in fear at the thought of talking about it to anyone! So you may think it's disgusting, and I may not understand it, but you should be more open minded that our ways are not the only ways.

But at least it gives Alynn an idea of what some of the opinions people will hold.

SSH · Sat 28/01/2006 23:24:33

Yeah, my wife and I are looking for help with our golf swings too...

rharpe · Sat 28/01/2006 23:26:26

I am not going to sit here and pretend all is fine-and-dandy...it's not! I could care less what people do with their lives: gay, trans, lesb, etc. That's not the issue. The issue is he wants to get advice in a place where, I feel, is inapproriate. An adventure gaming board of all places??? Does anyone see anything wrong with this?!

Go to your adult sites/forums and ask these questions... not here! There are kids here that don't need to know or even be introduced to things of this nature.

I.E. Becky! She is a 17 year old that is now defending this behavior... she's only 17... I'm sure there are people that are even younger.

Obviously I have made a name for myself when it comes to opposing immorality... this is fine by me. I like that everyone knows where I stand on certain issues. But flaunting your sexual desires, tendancies, or inclinations to a bunch of yound game-designers is WRONG!

SSH · Sat 28/01/2006 23:29:39

Quote from: rharpe on Sat 28/01/2006 23:26:26
But flaunting your sexual desires, tendancies, or inclinations to a bunch of yound game-designers is WRONG!

Is it the fact they are game-designers that makes it wrong?

Anyway, we all know really that swingers are a fabrication of porn mag letters pages to give lonely young teenage guys hope...