Stupid Generalizations from Stupid Parents

[Peter Thomas]

okay, my parents aren't really stupid, but sometimes you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

My mum was in the supermarket yesterday (or the day before), and she was telling me about a woman she saw while she was there. She was describing her awful dress sense, and then said "plus, she had dyed her hair blonde, and she was a bit old for that, so I think she's a prostitute!"

I was gobsmacked. Completely gobsmacked! My mother - who claims to be the least judgemental woman in the world (and normally IS) - said that a woman was probably a prostitute because she had bottle-blonde hair!!!!!! (those extra !'s demonstrate my complete disbelief). I have several friends who have dyed their hair blonde, so I said "what about them?" and she said "but that's different!" and I said "why?" and she said "you're just trying to argue with me for no good reason, so shut up."

WTF?!!

And then there was an Australian politician who took her boyfriend on a tax-payer-paid holiday, when she was living with someone else (I think her ex-husband who is also the father of her children). I mean, sure, I was angry - I don't want my money paying for someone else's holiday, but my parents said: "Obviously they have no morals or principles." I mean... okay... fair enough... most politicians come across as fairly uncaring and uninterested in the common person, but to make that kind of judgement on someone just because they took their boyfriend on a holiday? That's a bit rough... isn't it?

[DGMacphee]

You're going to look really silly when you find out that blonde woman in the supermarket was a prostitute.

[Robert Eric]

[Nacho]

Robert... It's time to remove the Santa's item of your avatar...

[Peter Thomas]

yeah, okay. fair enough. she probably was a prostitute. But the way my mum said it suggested "I know these things because I'm older than you and I've been around longer, so obviously I know what prostitutes look like, and I know blonde hair = paid for sex!"

It really made me angry. But I'm sort of over it now.

Plus, from what my mum described, that woman in the photo COULD be the one... so you know... you live and you learn.

[Femme Stab Mode >:D]

You're not alone :p

My mother once listened twice to a phone message of someone trying to hang up, failing, and hanging up again because she thought that it could have been a message for me in morse code (I'm an Army cadet, a signaller).

She gave it to me and asked me to decode it, and I had to explain the mechanics of morse code to her to convince her otherwise.

("Mum, this only could have been 2 or 3 letters, and it was too slow!")

[Kweepa]

And then there was an Australian politician who took her boyfriend on a tax-payer-paid holiday,

I agree 100% with your parents.
How can you justify this self-serving behaviour?
Flogging's too good for them.

That's why I really wanted Sonia Gandhi to be Indian PM. Imagine a politician that had to be persuaded to take office!

[Dave Gilbert]

Oh boy.  A chance to play devil's advocate.

Peter, how did you respond to your mother's statement?  Did you immediately leap down her throat?  I ask because my sister constantly used to do the same thing to my mother.  My mother would say something my sister disagreed with, and sis would instantly raise her voice and go on the offensive.  My mother, naturally, would say "Why are you arguing with me?" while my sister would insist (loudly) that she wasn't.

Just curious.

[Mr Jake]

lol Dave, the same thing happens here.. Kids :/

[Ali]

I'd happily pay to send a number of politicians on "holiday"! He he he...

I'm kidding. You're right about the first case but dead wrong about the second. That's a terrible abuse of power, even if no one was directly harmed by the actions involved. It directly violates the principles of democracy, so I don't think your mother was being unfair to say what she did.

[Fuzzpilz]

I think we'd need to know more about that particular case before we can decide how angry to be about it. Mostly this: how was it paid by the taxpayers? My impression has always been that politicians who hold offices or parliamentary mandates get paid for it (ignore this post if they don't in Australia). If the money for the holiday came out of that, I don't really see much of a problem.

[Peter Thomas]

Well, it was paid like this:

The council took our money, and used it to go on holidays.

Now I'm not saying it's RIGHT or anything, and it certainly angers me, but to just come out and say they have no morals or principles because of that particular action is just unfair. I think she's an idiot and un-caring, but I wouldn't say she had no morals.

And, Dave, I don't raise my voice to my mum. Well, not initially I didn't. I was calm right up the point where she said "you're just arguing for the sake of it", and I let off a BIT more steam and said "no - you're just trying to avoid the fact that you can't justify what you said." To which she replied "I don't have to justify my opinion to anyone. That's why it's called an opinion."  And I replied "yes, but you can't just not tell anyone WHY you think things. You have to have a reason!" To which she replied "No I don't". At which point I lost it and yelled (not really yelled. Even when we argue me and my mum still respect each other, so it was more of a forced grunt) "That's just stupid. You can't tell me they have no morals and then refuse to say WHY they have no morals!"

To which my father said "Be quiet, both of you. I'm trying to watch Tv."

[Migs]

Yeah, kids are stupid.

[SSH]

Mine isn't: if I say "The doggies on the bus go 'bow wow wow'," shes repeats 'bow wow wow', which is obviously a sign of great intelligence.

Anyway, if Peter's mother said "It's my opinion that... that woman is a prostitute" or "It's my opinion that... that councillor is immoral" then the correct reply is obviously "It's my opiniuon that you can't judge a book by its cover". But if she presented it as a statement of fact, then she should be prepared to back it up with evidence. Google for "logical fallacies" and you'll find a whole lot of reasons against her subsequent arguiments... i.e. she argued that a moral failing in one area meant that they had no morals... the fallacy of a part being the same as a whole.

[Kinoko]

We all get to that point where we're a little shocked at something our parents say, or we really disagree with something they say without thought but you can't let yourself get angry at her for it.

I say stuff like that all the time just in a 'jovial' kind of way and my friends know I'm not pretending to honestly make a complete assessment of a strangers life. It's just something you say, because that's your initial impression of a person and what you say about them to your friends doesn't really matter a great deal to anything or anyone. If someone jumped down my throat about a statement like that, I'd be annoyed at them (just like your mum was with you, I'm sure) for making a judgement about me, someone they know VERY well, and not realising that it was just "something you say sometimes".

I'm not trying to attack you, believe me.. I've been in that situation where I jumped down my mum's throat for saying something I disagreed with at the root of my soul, and making way too big a deal out of something she just said because sometimes people say stuff like that. I regret that sort of stuff now I think, "My poor mum, putting up with my moods and serious nature".

Think of it like someone saying, "John Howards a prick". You're allowed to say that without people getting up you for not taking into consideration that you're never met him personally and that he's probably a wonderful father and a loving husband.

[Robert Eric]

Robert... It's time to remove the Santa's item of your avatar...

I can't - I don't have the original.

[Johnny Odd]

Don't you hate the really DUMB stuff old people (parents) say
"Where did you lose it!!?"
"What time do you call this!??"
and probably lots of stuff I can't think of right now...

[Pumaman]

I say stuff like that all the time just in a 'jovial' kind of way and my friends know I'm not pretending to honestly make a complete assessment of a strangers life. It's just something you say, because that's your initial impression of a person and what you say about them to your friends doesn't really matter a great deal to anything or anyone.

Exactly - people make throwaway comments like these on a daily basis; sometimes for a cheap laugh, sometimes to try and provoke a discussion. Comments like "don't they have any morals at all" is a pretty standard exaggeration, I really don't see what you're getting worked up about.

[Esseb]

okay, my parents aren't really stupid, but sometimes you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

[...] she was telling me about a woman she saw while she was there. She was describing her awful dress sense, and then said "plus, she had dyed her hair blonde, and she was a bit old for that, so I think she's a prostitute!"

[...] I have several friends who have dyed their hair blonde, so I said "what about them?" and she said "but that's different!"

[...]

It is different. Unless they happen to have the same kind of awful dress sense. Your mom may have been thinking about the whole look, dress and hair and all, while you were just concentrating on the hair colour remark.

Edit: The word "plus" from the quote is supposed to be bold, but it isn't showing for me. Use your imagination to picture it.

[Babloyi cant sign in]

My dad has uses all these weird generalisations. People might think he is rascist, but he actually just talks like that. He even uses this strange supposedly derogatory word, I have no idea what it is: "wogs". I try preventing him from using the words in public, but he slips quite often. I argue with him alot, even just for the sake of it, but so does he. Neither of it has any hard feelings, so it is probably the best reason to argue