Trihan's Limerick-o-matic!

[Trihan]

For many years now I've been fascinated - nay, enthralled - by the subtle nuances of the English language and the myriad opportunities it affords for wordplay. To that end, I've ever been a particular fan of the humble limerick, and so I offer this.

Give me any topic in this...uh, topic. Any topic at all, and I will create a triple limerick based on it. That is to say three limericks about the same thing. For example, if someone were to say "Do a limerick about pink polkadot elephants!" I would perhaps submit the following:

They're certainly not grey robots
And they aren't green rectangular pots
They're not tiny worms
They are huge pachyderms
Which are pink and all covered in dots.

They only exist in your head
And they probably fill you with dread
If you walk out your door
You will find three or four
And there's seven of them in your bed.

So what's to be done, do you know?
Against this imaginary foe
If you just don't believe
They'll all turn round and leave
Then they'll only exist in dumbo.

------

No idea how popular this'll be, if anyone replies at all, but if you like the idea then by all means post! Post post post! Now! Yeah, I'm talking to you! *points*

[Ghost]

Cute challenge!
Do one about an armadillo in a bowling alley  

[Domino]

Dildo In The Dishwasher

[Trihan]

I accept your challenge with all the airs and graces of a hippo wearing clogs!

*ahem*

He held on to his favourite teddy
As his good bowling arm he made steady
He had a good grip
And his windup was hip
The Bowl Armadillo was ready.

He attracted a curious stare
From the odd passer-by who went there
He cared not for their kind
There were strikes on his mind
He was down to a split, what a pair!

So he stood straight and proud, he stood tall
For his one final shot in the hall
Then some cad drunk on beer
Rolled him into a sphere
And then used the poor sap as a ball.

[Dualnames]

Life, Universe and Everything

[Trihan]

Dildo in the dishwasher...hmm. Okay, let's do this.

It just sat there all purple and long
An object of poem and song
In my dishwashing box
Lay the king of all cocks
The world's largest vibrating dong.

I wasn't sure how it got there
And it looked to be covered in hair
What a sickening thought
In my stomach, a knot
So I just went and sat in a chair.

Well it just disappeared in the end
My veined purple pulsating friend
But perhaps if I yearn
It'll someday return
And JESUS could that bugger bend.

[Domino]

Very Nice. 

[Trihan]

Life, the universe and everything (You guys are requesting these faster than I can write them! XD)

It's incredibly vital it's true
Of utmost importance to you
The answer to life
All our troubles and strife
What is it? Of course! 42.

For when you multiply six by nine
The answer you get is just fine
Well, according to Dent
But then maybe he meant
To say seven instead of the sign.

So Deep Thought so clever and strong
Came up with an answer that's wrong
But we'll just never know
If it's meant to be so
So let's just all go and play Pong!

[Dualnames]

Hahaha...awesome one..you seem like a fan...

[Trihan]

Always remember to take your towel.

[Ghost]

*clappity* *clap* *clap*

[Anteater]

Evil hamsters who want your soul, and have recently declared a war on the Great Walrus.

[Eggie]

I won't bog you don with any more requests, i just to say that this thread is awesome and you are surely some kind of wizard.

[Trihan]

They're eerily cute on the whole
But if to befriend them's your goal
You'd better beware
Of that furious glare
The hamsters will soon have your soul.

The Great Walrus has called on his friends
All the creatures on whom he depends
Briefed on the situation
The whole mammal nation
Is dying to see how it ends

So the war will begin really soon
All the hamsters will fly to the moon
Their plan will be unfurled
To blow up the world
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

[Ryan Timothy B]

Do a: Hermit who likes cheese, who makes bouncy balls with his belly-button lint and tries to sell them on Ebay.

[Trihan]

Did I tell you that I know this guy?
Lives in mountains, incredibly shy?
But there are still some things
For which his heart sings
For which he would happily die.

He sells belly lint bounce balls for profit
If you had a cap surely you'd doff it
On eBay he sells
"Made in China!" he tells
And if you have cheese he will scoff it.

For he loves camembert and edam
Ever since force-fed cheese by his mam
It's relieving to me
That I'm not made of brie
If I was he would eat me with jam.

[Stupot]

Married to the Mob

[Trihan]

A film from ninteteen eighty-eight
Which is quite undeniably great
'bout an FBI man
With a real cunning plan
With a mafia boss lies his fate.

For after the death of old Frankie
Angela's understandably cranky
Tries to leave the old life
Of the Mafia wife
For to be a glam dame, fair and lanky.

Then a Kellogg's mascot steals the show
And of course I mean Tony Russo
He's "The Tiger" to most
A most generous host
But the truth is he's lower than low.

[Ghost]

Okay, sire, here's a challenge-ey one
A young woman who, being trapped in a research lab, tries to get cake by jumping through portals while being mocked by a slightly creepy female A.I.
Or, likewise:
Pac-Man tries to quit the pills

[Trihan]

Challenge...

ACCEPTED!

"Latrop"

You awake with a pain in your head
You're quite lost but at least you're not dead
Some tender advice
Gets you started, how nice!
Though I'd likely have chosen the bed.

GlaDOS is not to be trusted
Her cognitive functions are rusted
If you listen you'd better
Heed me to the letter
In acid you'll soon be encrusted.

So goodbye, Companion Cube, bye
You've gone to that place in the sky
Though you'll be missed, boo hoo
One thing is quite true
THE MOTHER@%$! CAKE IS A LIE!

------

"Hukt on Pillz"

"Now Pacman," the old shrink began
"I'm pleased to meet you, the name's Dan
Please state your addiction
With utmost conviction
And tell me as much as you can."

"Well you see, it's like this," Pacman said
"These things follow me round and they're dead!
It's making me crazed
They're only erased
By these pills that I pop in my head!"

"That's a problem, it's true," said the shrink
"For a fee this will help you, I think."
So he coughed up the scratch
For the Nintendo patch
And now Pacman is trying to eat Link.