The funniest (serious) religious site I've ever seen

InCreator · Tue 30/12/2003 11:15:28

Quote
"All humans are descendants of Adam and Eve--" ...okay... "--who had many sons and daughters--" ...yeah... "--so Cain MARRIED ONE OF HIS SISTERS!" ...oka-- Wait, isn't that incest?

It was! And a double one... remeber Noah? Who were on his boat? He and his family. All others died in flood... So we're already doubledamned thousands of years ago. No heaven 4 us... Of course, if the sin wasn't made *before* the flood ended... But I really can't image a ship full of animals, birds, insects and pregnant women.

TheYak · Tue 30/12/2003 11:49:46

Quote from: DGMacphee on Tue 30/12/2003 11:14:35
It's got to be a parody -- no one could be that fucking dumb!

You obviously haven't met many fundamental/radical Christians.

DGMacphee · Tue 30/12/2003 12:20:42

Quote from: YakSpit on Tue 30/12/2003 11:49:46
Quote from: DGMacphee on Tue 30/12/2003 11:14:35
It's got to be a parody -- no one could be that fucking dumb!
You obviously haven't met many fundamental/radical Christians.

I went to a Catholic school and met many fundamentals/radicals there.

TheYak · Tue 30/12/2003 12:57:41

Alright but you saw my mention of Testamints.. In addition, I was raised in a slightly-kooky fashion. I went to church 6 hours on Sundays, 2 hours on Wednesdays for 18 years. Any music other than gospel/hymnal/choir Christian music wasn't allowed. Dances were seen as evil as well as various odd things. I had neighbors at one point who stored canned goods and weapons for armageddon and went around the neighborhood preaching to kids about the evils of Pokemon & Disney. These same neighbors would purchase every Disney cartoon just so they could watch 'em with their kids & have the kids point out all the sins & lies in the movies. There are some truly nutty people out there who believe in the strangest things. I definately can't assume a site like this is parody just because it defies logic.

DGMacphee · Tue 30/12/2003 13:54:59

It can't be a true Christian nutjob site, cause it's too well-designed.

Here's a TRUE nutjob site:
http://www.capalert.com/

It also does analysis of many "sins & lies in the movies" you were talking about.

Plus, it looks fucking poor.

DragonRose · Tue 30/12/2003 16:10:01

DG: Is that the site that said Pirates of the Carribean was sinful because it had "slappings?"

Back to the original site... I can't even think of how to describe this. I've learned SOOOO much! Did you know, for example, that if you go to one of those parking lot window-chip repair booths, you might be coerced into joining a cult? No more window chip repair booths for me! And the American flag... well!

QuoteThe current Flag of the United States of America (for the benefit of non-Americans and poorly educated Public School graduates). While beautiful, an ignorant foreigner might mistakenly suspect we were Astrologists or some sort of Stripe Fetishists instead of proper Christians.

Yes.. I'll be (snicker) on the look out for those... (tee hee!)stripe fetishists..(giggle)...

This can't POSSIBLY be serious. That would just be too weird.

DGMacphee · Tue 30/12/2003 16:33:26

Not only "slappings", but "excessive breast exposure, repeatedly" and "gunfire murder to the face" too.

MrColossal · Tue 30/12/2003 21:30:04

It's people like you DragonRose that are destroying our Christian country! Stripe fetishists are real and they are a plague on this great Christian nation!!

SEE!!!

It all makes sense though that you'd think that site was false Dragon Rose. A Dragon shoots flames like the ones you will be burning in also see Revelation 12:9. Don't forget Rose, which is red like the devil and though it may be beautiful it also has thorns that will harm you, like your thorned tongue!!

Eric

Spoiler

ps obviously skipping over the fact that Rose is another name for Mary Magdeline and all this deeply theological stuff that The Rose implies but whatever, heathen

[close]

Chicky · Tue 30/12/2003 21:46:34

*grovel*

Adamski · Tue 30/12/2003 21:51:34

"Gunfire murder to the face". Ahaha, somehow that made me laugh out loud.

Capalert has the best movie reviews..

Eggie · Tue 30/12/2003 22:00:07

That can't be real.
...
Seriously...Kanga-jew...

Peter Thomas · Tue 30/12/2003 22:07:32

No-one's actually come up with any really 'controversial' stuff yet. Sure, there's whacked out stuff (like the flag, which might I add, looks loverrrly on those two girls), but some Christian radicals are like that. Most of the stuff being pointed out is common knowledge among christians (ie - incest with Cain etc) and because ordinary people don't know it, they think it's proof of a mentally unstable micro-society.

Not to say that I'm DEFENDING the site at all, but there are NO clear signals that it's a parody. Again, I'm not denying the possibility, but until someone actually says something DEFINITIVELY evil/anti-christian/just-plain-freakishly-non-normal, then I'm going to be a stick in the mud.

Plus, those girls 'wearing' the american flag told me to say all that....

*wishes he was American* Damn it! Why can't I live there?

Matt Brown · Tue 30/12/2003 22:37:32

trade ya spots peter

shbaz · Wed 31/12/2003 00:00:41

I disagree that there are no "clear" signs that it is a fake. This whole page is proof enough for me, because I haven't heard any of the radical christians I know talking about seeing and taking pictures of dinosaurs in africa..

http://objective.jesussave.us/dinoexpedition.html

Now don't get me wrong, I thought it was real until I browsed more. The creation education part is the clearly fake part.

Damien · Wed 31/12/2003 00:11:37

Quote"Darth Maul": Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like "mall". Coincidence?

Now that's comedy.

http://objective.jesussave.us/mallmission.html

DGMacphee · Wed 31/12/2003 00:47:52

I get worried when any user called 'Damien' starts posting in a thread about religion.

That, and 'Regan'.

Damien · Wed 31/12/2003 00:57:26

You probably think i'm into:

http://www.churchofsatan.com/home.html

Well I'm not!!!

Oooh, free goat blood sample!

TheYak · Wed 31/12/2003 03:30:52

I remain on the fence. That whole creationist-education exhibit thing isn't really that out of the ordinary (and not too different from stuff we did in my Christian school). Either way, debating this is pointless as there doesn't seem to be definative proof one way or the other. I suggest we put it to a practical exam. This community can e-mail various members of the website and post (summarizing, if necessary) the replies. I'll send one off when I get a minute.

[edit: by the way, if I've managed to get anyone else to try it, I'd suggest using different tactics and writing from different viewpoints]

edit again: I'll still e-mail but the satire-side wins, I guess. Either that or this is the goofiest bunch o'misfits I've seen. I just saw a "Christian-Klingon" banner/website. The only alternate theory I have is that one or more creators of the site is bright enough to pull the wool over their eyes in some areas.