This is why Chris Columbus never got to write Indy IV

remixor · Sun 01/02/2004 04:37:07

Quote from: Las Naranjas on Sat 31/01/2004 10:40:38
They should have given Short Round a conical hat and huge buck teeth and given him a black friend with huge lips and who always eats watermelon.

Oh the hilarity...

:

Domino · Sun 01/02/2004 04:56:08

I am pretty sure the blond from TOD was Kate Capshaw. I think she ended up marrying Steven Spielburg. Well i guess nothing gets you ahead in a movie like giving a little h**d.

evenwolf · Sun 01/02/2004 10:00:55

"Docta Jones! Docta Jones!"

"Snakes, I hate snakes..."

"Docta Jones look out! They are repackaging your story for a video game except you have a british accent and big boobs!"

Meowster · Sun 01/02/2004 10:05:35

"...I have Big Boobs, eh, Short Round?"

I think it's really funny the way Indy is constantly referred to as a child molester/paedophile in that script.

EDIT: And she lived in a crate and ate bananas for three weeks to survive.

santiago · Mon 02/02/2004 14:15:49

This HAS to be a joke.

shbaz · Mon 02/02/2004 17:29:08

I was thinking it'd make a perfect parody adventure game when I first read the synopsis.

rodekill · Mon 02/02/2004 18:42:51

Willie was supposed to be obnoxious and useless.
She was the Nega-Marion.

Meowster · Mon 02/02/2004 21:16:13

That didn't stop her from sucking.

You know, that script WOULD make a ~~crap~~ great indy game! I dare somebody...

Just change all the names! Nobody would ever guess they were Indy characters anyway!

BerserkerTails · Tue 03/02/2004 02:16:49

There's no way that Chris wrote that. I can't believe he'd write anything SOOO STUPID. Though it's still brilliant.

Meowster · Wed 04/02/2004 00:17:41

In other news, I was reading the other script available on that site, and despite the amateur layout it's actually a better script altogether... and it's a fan effort. Nice action sequences.

remixor · Wed 04/02/2004 03:26:58

I get the feeling this is a hoax. Chris Columbus is hardly the best writer of our time or anything, but I don't think for a moment he actually crafted this script.

Meowster · Wed 04/02/2004 04:15:38

I disagree. Seeing as this has been floating around the net for a while, if it was a hoax I'm pretty sure that Chris Columbus would have said something, rather than let people laugh at him.

That sort of shit could ruin a career.

MrColossal · Wed 04/02/2004 04:54:46

oh yes... what a terrible career to ruin...

DGMacphee · Wed 04/02/2004 06:18:35

From what I've heard, Willie might be in the fourth one.

But what really sucks is that Marucs Brody won't be in it (on account of Denholm Elliot's death in 1992).

Face facts, TOD sucked not cause of Willie, but because Marcus wasn't in it.

You have to have Indy's bumchum to make the thing work!

He added a touch of class/sexual-tension-between-Indy-and-himself.

QuoteI was reading the dead script for Indy IV.

"Indy and the Monkey King" is not a dead script for Indy IV -- It's the dead script for Indy III (producers chose Last Crusade instead obviously).

See here: http://www.indyfan.com/articles/monkey.html

It was dated 1985.

The Indy Experience got it wrong in their review.

remixor · Wed 04/02/2004 11:07:49

Quote from: Indiana Psychonaut on Wed 04/02/2004 04:15:38
I disagree. Seeing as this has been floating around the net for a while, if it was a hoax I'm pretty sure that Chris Columbus would have said something, rather than let people laugh at him.

That sort of shit could ruin a career.

Either that, or he just shrugged it off due to it's utter ridiculousness. That or he may just not know about it. It's often surprising how long it takes for the subject of an internet prank to find out about said prank, and I'm sure his (admittedly rather lackluster) career occupies enough of his time that he's not in the business of rooting around for his name on the internet. There's also the matter to consider that if he does know about the whole thing, he elected simply to keep quiet because he didn't want to attract more attention to it.

Gonzo · Wed 04/02/2004 12:48:54

Indy fans might be interested to know that the Indy IV script is now complete (written by Frank Darabont). This means, if all the schedules fit together, shooting will begin at the end of Summer 2004.

http://www.theraider.net/newsarchives/indy4/2004_january.php#0101300401

I've got mixed feelings. When I was 10 I'd have been so excited, but (and I know people go on and on about this) Harrison Ford is old now, will he look right playing Indy again? There's definitely no-one else who could do it, but can even Harrison do it now? The ending of 'Last Crusade' was so perfect for one of my favourite series, will it now be spoiled with an inferior script?

Fingers crossed anyway. I think one important thing is to keep the spirit of old-fashioned filmmaking of the original films, doing all of the work with proper stunts and sets. Lucas' influence could easily turn it towards a mass of CGI insanity, which'd be a shame, because some stuff in the originals is so much cooler for having been built and real. The snakes, for example, they'd probably just be CGI creations nowadays. Spielberg says something about doing stuntwork for real, and not on the computer, on the DVD, that I really agree with.

remixor · Wed 04/02/2004 13:07:56

Well, if it indeed goes through with Darabont as has been often rumoured (it didn't look like that Lucasfilm quote really confirmed anything specific), at least the film will be in pretty good hands behind the camera; Darabont's writing and Spielburg's direction (and Frank Marshall's production, I suppose) should theoretically bang out a pretty solid Indy film. However, like most others, I'm sure, I have severe worries about what the hell is going to go on in front of the camera. Ford will play Indy of course, but in what capacity? Lucas has stated that he won't be doing all the crazy action he did in the prior films, so what exactly will he do? I think on the whole this is probably a film that's better left unmade, but who knows, maybe I'll be surprised.

rodekill · Wed 04/02/2004 14:06:48

I can see Indy having some kind of protege tag along who ends up being the "new Indy".
I don't have a problem with that.

DGMacphee · Wed 04/02/2004 14:41:09

Rodey, are you suggesting a... a... SPIN-OFF?!?!

No way, that could never happen!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch this Ewoks movie!

YUB YUB!

Esseb · Wed 04/02/2004 15:16:57

I'd rather have a different actor play Indy than a spin off taking place during the Cold War. River Phoenix could've pulled it off, and did in LEC.

Then again, the Young Indy series was atrocious, but that may have been more due to the shoddy writing and the famous historical figure of the week trite rather than the lack of Harrison.