The School Reports Day-Could I speak to her?

[kl4Uz]

Anyway, not all girls like the "dark and handsome stranger" type of dude. In fact, most of the preps at my school prefer to go out with the friendly, popular jocks who'll admit that they like them, rather than the mean punk at the back of the class.

I guess the girls that do like the bad guys will only like them because they want a challenge. They all want to be the first girl to get underneath that dark boy's mysterious exterior and brag to their friends that they did it.

thanks, you just destroyed all my fucking illusions....

[Blackthorne]

Nobody likes the fat dude though... I think. I've got some strange hints at school, but I couldn't gather the courage to ask "what do you mean" or anything. Bah, I'm moving to a new school this autumn. I'll probably never see her again ever... ever... ever... ever... ever... ever... ever...... *SIGH*

Dude,
    I'm a big dude myself, and last year, I had a strange thing.  I dated a really hot girl, I mean - she was really into me.  And you know what?!?!!?!!?

It sucked.

She was mentally obsessive over everthing I did, good and bad, she lacked self-confidence, and I've had more fun making out with a couch than her.  So, on both sides of the cube, looks aren't everything, and if you're a cool person, someone digs you.

Bt

[Evil]

Be a honest, great, funny guy and they will come to you. Trust me. The ones you will love the most will find you.

[Migs]

and I've had more fun making out with a couch than her.

Do you make out with the couch often?

Be a honest, great, funny guy and they will come to you. Trust me. The ones you will love the most will find you.

No offense, but 14 year-olds typically don't have a clue when it comes to to adolescent romance.  It's usually only when adults look back on their teenage years that they realize what they should've done differently.Ã,  We old folks have more insight into these things and more wisdom to impart than you young whippersnappers do.

[LordHart]

and I've had more fun making out with a couch than her.

I wish I could make out with a couch... but it turned me down long ago. :'(

[shbaz]

Be a honest, great, funny guy and they will come to you. Trust me. The ones you will love the most will find you.

No offense, but 14 year-olds typically don't have a clue when it comes to to adolescent romance.Ã,  It's usually only when adults look back on their teenage years that they realize what they should've done differently.Ã,  We old folks have more insight into these things and more wisdom to impart than you young whippersnappers do.

Migs, WTF. Evil is a ladies man, and he can impart all the advice to me that he so desires.

[LordHart]

Is evil the one on the right? In that case... he is a lady man...

[Migs]

No offense, but 14 year-olds typically don't have a clue when it comes to to adolescent romance.Ã,  It's usually only when adults look back on their teenage years that they realize what they should've done differently.Ã,  We old folks have more insight into these things and more wisdom to impart than you young whippersnappers do.

Migs, WTF. Evil is a ladies man, and he can impart all the advice to me that he so desires.

Oh please.Ã,  14 year-old boys and girls are so hormonally charged they contaminate the air with testosterone and estrogen.Ã,  The vast majority of people Evil's age aren't lucky enough to be "smooth with the ladies."Ã,  Adolescence is a time of sexual awkwardness, confusion, frustration, and downright anger.Ã,  Gord is a down-to-earth adolescent.Ã,  What he needs is not advice from a "ladies' man" like Evil, but other down-to-earth people who've been there before and have good ideas on how to deal with the situation.

[Blackthorne]

Oh please.Ã,  14 year-old boys and girls are so hormonally charged they contaminate the air with testosterone and estrogen.Ã,  The vast majority of people Evil's age aren't lucky enough to be "smooth with the ladies."Ã,  Adolescence is a time of sexual awkwardness, confusion, frustration, and downright anger.Ã,  Gord is a down-to-earth adolescent.Ã,  What he needs is not advice from a "ladies' man" like Evil, but other down-to-earth people who've been there before and have good ideas on how to deal with the situation.

Migs, I agree with you about 14 year old boys, but I think everyone's opinions on love and dating are valid, even if they're wrong or haven't had the experience older folks have.

And By The Way, yeah, I HAVE made out with a couch. I'm not ashamed, but slightly embarresed. 

[Nacho]

Everytime there's a thread like this, I always read of the "Bad Boy" attraction factor.
[...]
By and large, the most attractive thing you can do is show you're attracted.

Both phenomena are linked... Girls go with the bad boy because he usually does not show interest, so, in many times and IMO opinion and by my experience, no... showing you're attracted is not the best thing you can do.

It happens specially with the populars girls, who have around a lot of people disposed to love her. They've been told "I love you" so many times, that they're really not interested in listening it again. In that cases, as Mario, my teacher in love affaires said "It is better to make her know that you like smelling your own farts than showing interest over her".

And it's true... Here is were the phenomena of where a girl falls in love with the dark/dangerous/not-interester-in-her guy.

[Gord10]

Ã,  Ã, Hey, I couldn't guess this topic would be 2 pages in a day
Ã,  Ã, I still don't think I should ask her out. IMO I should get close to her and gain her friendship first.
Ã,  Ã,  We've talked three times by now. In first time, I was sitting in the canteen of the school alone, and she asked me if a seat was empty and I said yes (no, she didn't sit by me; just took the chair to her table where her friends were :)Ã,  ). The second time, she collided me while walking and said pardon. The third one is more different: I would give somebody who is in her class a floopy disc for the Geography Club in the school. I went their classroom, and asked somebody in front of the door if the boy who I'd give the disc was there. Then, she appeared and said "He isn't in the classroom now. I can give the disc to him for you, if you want.". I gave the disc to her and said "OK, thank you "
Ã,  Ã,  I don't know why I told it. I felt like that I should write these, because it could help people to give me ideas.
    By the way, what is "dude" ? I've heard this word before a few times, but couldn't find the meaning in dictionaries.

[Nacho]

As far as I know, dude is like "guy" or "man" or "buddy"... It's a friendly expression.

[SSH]

And when they find out it's hollow? 

... then they'll try to fill it up.

That reminds me of a joke... a woman has three things on her mind when she gets married:

Aisle
Altar
Hymn

(say it out loud...)

[kl4Uz]

   Hey, I couldn't guess this topic would be 2 pages in a day
   I still don't think I should ask her out. IMO I should get close to her and gain her friendship first.
    We've talked three times by now. In first time, I was sitting in the canteen of the school alone, and she asked me if a seat was empty and I said yes (no, she didn't sit by me; just took the chair to her table where her friends were   ). The second time, she collided me while walking and said pardon. The third one is more different: I would give somebody who is in her class a floopy disc for the Geography Club in the school. I went their classroom, and asked somebody in front of the door if the boy who I'd give the disc was there. Then, she appeared and said "He isn't in the classroom now. I can give the disc to him for you, if you want.". I gave the disc to her and said "OK, thank you "
    I don't know why I told it. I felt like that I should write these, because it could help people to give me ideas.
    By the way, what is "dude" ? I've heard this word before a few times, but couldn't find the meaning in dictionaries.

becoming friends is the very worst thing you can do! Believe me! I had this gf 2 years ago, everything sucked and in the end our relationship broke up and we hated each other... But she had this friend, I already knew for a long time, and I really liked her a lot. So I started hang out with her and we became good friend, BUT that bastard of an ex-gf became     jealous, because I was hanging out with her friend, so she made her stop seing me...
By now I think I shouldn't have tried to become friends with that girl, but I should have told her from the begining what I felt for her, maybe than everything would've become differnent.

So what I was going to say, don't let the relationship between you and that girl become to complicated. Just do something! I know it's not easy - trust me I know your situation, and believe all the time it ended, that someone else got her (mainly the stupid, but sportive guy...)

[LGM]

Yes.. Don't listen to Harry.. He's not any of those things. He's an incompetent, egotistical pothead kid person who just happens to be so fucking cute. He doesn't do anything emotionally to attract the ladies. He just sits there, smiles, and maybe flirts.. :-p Damn asshole gets all the ladies.

(btw, I'm just jealous of him.)

Anyways.. My advice.. Is just walk up to her and talk to her directly. You don't necessarily have to become her best friend before you date her.. That's really not a good idea. Just arrange some way that you two could go see a movie together (with friends, would be good as a starter) or go out for some lunch or dinner or something. Talk to her, subtley ask questions to know more about her.. Use this knowledge to impress her and make you look more charming and stuff. But be yourself. Don't fake emotions just to win her over.. That won't work either.. Because she'll be able to tell, or she'll find out your true self if you stick together long enough.

Just go for it.

I can tell you from my many many many failed attempts, that keeping it bottled up inside or tiptoeing around it all is not the best thing to do. I always end up falling in love with some girl.. Dropping hints I like her, talking to her.. And then I write fucking NOTES to explain my feelings.. I'm such a wuss I can't just talk to them like a normal person. And then eventually I muck something up and everything goes down hill and I lose a friend.

And just to show the impact of this way of acting..  I've never been kissed or done anything remotely sexual with a girl in my life.. Except for maybe stupid dares or "accidents".  I also am a bit hefty, if you couldn't tell.. But I try not to tell myself that's the ONLY reason girls won't date me..

Cause sometimes I can come off as an obnoxious, annoying jerk..

So yea.. Just go for it. Don't over analyze it.. If she says no, it's not the end of the world. And like everyone's said.. Nobody will talk about it.. No-one ever cares or talks about you nearly as much as you think they do.

So, again, for the third time.. Just GO FOR IT.

[Migs]

Migs, I agree with you about 14 year old boys, but I think everyone's opinions on love and dating are valid, even if they're wrong or haven't had the experience older folks have.

I'm not saying his opinions are invalid or anything, I'm just suggesting that Gord needs more straightforward advice on how to relate to women.  A minority of guys are lucky enough to be smooth with the girls, but I don't think they really understand why they are.  They're just being themselves, after all.

Ã,  Ã, Hey, I couldn't guess this topic would be 2 pages in a day
Ã,  Ã, I still don't think I should ask her out. IMO I should get close to her and gain her friendship first.
Ã,  Ã,  We've talked three times by now. In first time, I was sitting in the canteen of the school alone, and she asked me if a seat was empty and I said yes (no, she didn't sit by me; just took the chair to her table where her friends were :)Ã,  ). The second time, she collided me while walking and said pardon. The third one is more different: I would give somebody who is in her class a floopy disc for the Geography Club in the school. I went their classroom, and asked somebody in front of the door if the boy who I'd give the disc was there. Then, she appeared and said "He isn't in the classroom now. I can give the disc to him for you, if you want.". I gave the disc to her and said "OK, thank you "
Ã,  Ã,  I don't know why I told it. I felt like that I should write these, because it could help people to give me ideas.
Ã,  Ã,  By the way, what is "dude" ? I've heard this word before a few times, but couldn't find the meaning in dictionaries.

becoming friends is the very worst thing you can do! Believe me! I had this gf 2 years ago, everything sucked and in the end our relationship broke up and we hated each other... But she had this friend, I already knew for a long time, and I really liked her a lot. So I started hang out with her and we became good friend, BUT that bastard of an ex-gf became jealous, because I was hanging out with her friend, so she made her stop seing me...
By now I think I shouldn't have tried to become friends with that girl, but I should have told her from the begining what I felt for her, maybe than everything would've become differnent.

So what I was going to say, don't let the relationship between you and that girl become to complicated. Just do something! I know it's not easy - trust me I know your situation, and believe all the time it ended, that someone else got her (mainly the stupid, but sportive guy...)

I'm not sure becoming friends is the worst thing you can do, and I think you're jumping way ahead of yourself, kl4Uz.  It does seem like a good, practical approach, and becoming friends first is often what girls want.  After all, she might not want to go on a date with you if she doesn't know a little bit more about what you're like.  You don't have to become best friends with her, or hang out with her or anything before asking her out.  Gord, I think it's obvious she's at least willing to talk to you, which is a good sign, but it's really difficult to tell anything without knowing more about her.  Just become cordial acquaintances, so that you can carry on a 5-minute conversation, and then if you have any slight inclination she might be interested in you, kick it up a notch.

[Andail]

LGM, just writing the things you wrote proves you've got some guts, at least! I'm sure that kind of honesty will be very appreciated by other...less experienced... young ones in our community.
Kudos to the Little Gryphon Master!

I myself, despite an impression I've understood some people have of me here, am not really a ladies man.
I was pretty early (I was an active kid), and sure, I date regularly and have pretty good self-confidence (and record) when it comes to picking up women in clubs or bars. But I don't have the classic good looks that make women notice me unless I approach them, talk to them, dance with them or play romantic ballads on the guitar.

[SSH]

Good point, Andail... playing romantic stuff on the guitar is a sure-fire way to pull. So, go out and learn the guitar!

[Migs]

I know it doesn't help to say this to any teenager, but ultimately it really doesn't matter if you've never been kissed or had a girlfriend during your teenage years.Ã,  It doesn't prove anything about you, your character, what kind of a person you are, how friendly you are, how social you are, or anything.Ã,  You haven't "failed" in life if you're 30 and never been kissed.Ã,  What's far more important is that you're true to yourself, good to others, and known as an honest and trustworthy person.

I do think sometimes people make attracting the opposite sex more of a mystery than it needs to be.Ã,  It's rather annoying how it's been turned into a game of skill, wits, and intrigue.Ã,  When you're young, it's "does she like me?Ã,  what do I do?Ã,  should I become friends first?Ã,  should I ask her on a date?Ã,  what if she says no?Ã,  should I tell her how I feel about her?Ã,  would that just scare her?"Ã,  In my experience, it became much simpler as I got older.Ã,  It became simply a matter of talking to a stranger for a few minutes then saying, "Hey, would you like to go on a date?Ã,  Great!"Ã,  No assumptions, just an opportunity to get to know the person better.

[Czar]

I think you're gonna strangle Gord with your advices, It's not like he can take a guitar to a school and play ballads while everyone is screaming.

It's a little like Migs says.

You just try to be cool, and be confident. If you have cell phones (with you being teenagers, I believe you do), get her number, so that could be easier.
So you be confident but casual, and if you are attempting to ask her out, you should use lines in the style that you say her that you think that she is the cutest girl you've seen in the whole school, but you hadn't time to talk to her before because of the school, so now that it's over you wonder if you two could go to a cup of coffee/drink (that's the way we do it here)... etc.
And try using sarcasm, but in a non offensive way, thats can be used as a substitute for jokes. etc. etc. I can give you a thousand advices, but it all goes around
the stuff that you think that she is really cute and you think that you two should go out for a drink or whatever you do there.

Or do what I do.
When the school ends a few hundred/thousands(?) students (from all schools) go to a place and we all get drunk and then the magic happens , but always be cool.

edit: but if nothing works go and download those NLP books from kazaa. I know that they have them for business, so i think they should have them for seduction(I lie, I know they have them, but nevertheless, I dont need them )

Anyway, I'll use this opportunity to say.

TEH SKOOL IZ OVAAAAAEEER!!!!!!!!!
Yea baby!!!!