Jealousy

jannar85 · Tue 10/08/2004 00:44:13

How jealous do you get of your boyfriend/girlfriend's ex's, or opposite sex friends etc.. Please explain why and how you cope with it.. (1 being not at all and 10 be really jealous)

Meowster · Tue 10/08/2004 00:45:41

Absolutely not jealous at all.

As regards opposite sex friends, I sometimes wondered what a massive orgy with them would be like.

See? It's already an interesting topic.

shbaz · Tue 10/08/2004 00:53:00

I've never been jealous. I can't really say why, it's rather complicated I guess.

Like Yufster, I've also often wondered what a massive orgy with my female friends (and lots of girls who I really don't know at all) would be like.

jannar85 · Tue 10/08/2004 01:11:27

I wish I were you Ã´_Ã â€

Evil · Tue 10/08/2004 01:16:33

I am having the most trouble getting over my last girlfriend. Every time I question something the first question I ask is "What would she say about this?"

Not only that but all the people she dates now are athleats and school geniouses. God, I'm so weak. Was I holding her back?

So to answer your question, yes. I am jealous. I turned down sex from another girl because I thought she would come back. I also have an admitance problem.

Moox · Tue 10/08/2004 01:20:42

Well I have a really good female friend I met in 7th grade. I originally started talking to her because I liked her. Ya I get jelous of her boyfriends, but I also look out for her, keep her away from the potheads, and the dorks. Infact I made a deal with this one dweeb that he cant talk to her or another one of my female friends. I occasianaly like one of my friends, but it eventually blows over.

jannar85 · Tue 10/08/2004 01:26:39

Oh damn. Was she THAT special, Evil?

Jealousy is evil ._.

Evil · Tue 10/08/2004 01:29:28

She wasnt at all. But she can manipulate minds like no tomorrow.

shbaz · Tue 10/08/2004 02:25:56

Quote from: jannar85 on Tue 10/08/2004 01:11:27
I wish I were you Ã´_Ã â€

No you don't.

Respect yourself more than that, for your own sake.

In short I think that I don't have jealousy because I had a big awakening when I was 13 or so and I stopped getting angry, jealous, or frustrated to even a moderate extent. My parents had split up and thinking about that caused me to realize a lot of things. Once you try to understand how people think and why they think that way, you understand why they do things that you do or don't like. Once you understand, you shouldn't get angry, frustrated, or jealous.

Because I have gained that kind of emotional calm, I feel I'm able to think and solve problems better than a lot of people. But I'm no superhuman, I'm not perfect, and definately not something of envy. Probably most of the people you envy for whatever reason have huge problems you don't know about. Actually, just about everyone has a huge problem that they don't let everyone know about. If you think about that, it's also easier to not get jealous. *Atheletic people are often of lesser intellect. It's not always the case, but doesn't that make you feel better?

For example, lets say you fancy a beautiful girl who fancies a guy that you hate and does several things better than you can. Don't get jealous of the guy for being better than you at whatever the hell he does, and don't get angry at the girl for liking him. If you want the girl, try to let her know about your redeeming qualities and talk to her a lot. People often like to talk about themselves, so ask things like, "How was your day, What are you doing this weekend, What do you do in your spare time, What kind of music/movies do you like, etc." She'll love you for it, seriously. You could use that alone to manipulate a girl into doing anything you want, and many people do. But if you think about that.. if you don't really have anything in common with her, if you just think she's pretty, forget it. It's not worth it in the long run for many reasons, and getting jealous just makes it worse. Jealously will make you stupid, so avoid it at all costs. Focus on the girl and not the guy you're jealous of, in short, because if you focus on the guy then you lose sight of the girl, and you lose the girl.

*I'm speaking in American terms, I hope no one gets offended here, because it's true in the states.

Kinoko · Tue 10/08/2004 11:50:20

I don't get jealous at all, and haven't for a long time. I think it was a pretty similar kind of experience to what shbaz described. In my case, I just figured out the way people act and why they do it, and I gained an unholy amount of self love

Plus, I just have the kind of relationship that I'm totally comfortable with and have total faith in my partner and our feelings for each other.

Not to sound like I'm rubbing it in, but I'm just pointing out that these are the things that allow me to throw jealousy out the window.

Babar · Tue 10/08/2004 12:07:44

Unfortunately, I seem to have this "cold" streak. I don't get jealous of much. So far I have not been taken advantage of for that. I generally trust my friend enough to know she would not do something to break that trust.

mousemat · Tue 10/08/2004 12:31:05

ive got loads of friends who are females and i have a girlfriend.
i have never got jealous . :

(i think

)

good topic

Alexis Vale · Tue 10/08/2004 15:19:37

A negative googol.

I don't get jealous...or maybe I live in such a deep fantasy in my head that I am incapable of being jealous.

Most of my friends are guys. I guess that's because I can be labeled as a "tomboy" and guys feel unthreatened (like...I'm not trying to be more than friends). So...I figure it this way: I can have a lot of guy friends when those girls only go on to have one boyfriend at a time (because guys watch their girls like territory and girls here don't believe in "just friends." Haha). I win in the long run. 8)

edmundito · Tue 10/08/2004 15:40:47

I'm one of those guys who befriends the girlfriend and the boyfriend gets jelaous and weary of me! Well, just over one girl, but I think it's silly. Then again, I would understand why he would be fearful of me.

In contrast, I'm really good friends with my friend's girlfriend. The other day I told him "Tell your girlfriend to dump you and go out with me!

" (a classic me thing to say) and he said something like "uhh.. maybe I can't trust you anymore!" and then I said "I'm only joking".

Seriously, though, what I've learned in both cases is that the girlfriend will never abandon the guy if she really likes him. You might be fearful, and you're probably thinking like the worst case scenario, but if the girl really likes you she won't even think about the other guys that way... so you don't have to worry about that. Now, fighting your own insecurities is another story, and that is up to you to get it over with. Maybe if it was the only way around, maybe if you were friends with some girl, maybe you would want her more than you really need to, and that could be why you're insecure, since you would actually go for it.

As for me, the girlfriendless guy who is friends with people's girlfriends, I must say that I do get the satisfaction to know that I'm a pretty likeable guy, and that some girls are actually not dumb as I thought... I still haven't figured out where to find them, so I'll go look for them. Gotta go!

Dart · Tue 10/08/2004 15:43:43

Do I get jealous? Rarely, but sometimes.

Well, if my boyfriend is just talking to another girl or quick-hugging her, then no, I won't be jealous over that. But if that hug goes on a little bit TOO long or start cuddling, then yeah, I will be kind of annoyed. Luckily, that hardly ever happens with my current significant other, Nathan, because he's not the touchy-feely type (at least not with other girls [AND NOT WITH GUYS EITHER!]

). In fact, he gets jealous way more than I do since I hang out with only guys and he's the possessive type.

Pumaman · Tue 10/08/2004 18:12:55

Quote from: shbazjinkens on Tue 10/08/2004 00:53:00
Like Yufster, I've also often wondered what a massive orgy with my female friends (and lots of girls who I really don't know at all) would be like.

Hmm, I'd never wondered about that before.

I am now.

MonkeySpank · Tue 10/08/2004 18:50:38

I'm a 10.

Not a guy for orgies either.

Pesty · Wed 11/08/2004 04:31:46

I'm only jealous of people who are more awesome than I am. And by that I mean I'm not jealous of anyone at all. HAHAHA You all suck!!

But seriously, I don't get jealous easily. It does happen sometimes, but if someone wants me to be jealous of them, they're going to have to work at it. Like all those people who went to Mittens, I'm jealous of them for having money.

edmundito · Wed 11/08/2004 05:19:57

I'm jelaous of Pesty. She's a girl, so she gets all the attention from everyone in this forum, including myself.

Why?... WHY?!!!?!?!!

rtf · Wed 11/08/2004 05:54:52

I don't get extremely jealous over people of the opposite sex, but I do get jealous over various guitar-related issues...
stupid foot pedal breaking warranty not covering powerful foot stomping down too hard then my friend gets a $500 effects box...

I guess I'm a 5..Ã,Â or a 4... no, 5. nice, rounded number...