20 Classic Simpsons Quotes

[PsychicHeart]

I hereby pronounce my 20 favourite Simpsons quotes.

20. 'I heard your dad went into a restraunt and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant' - Ralph Wiggum

19. 'Fire Gil, not Guns'- Poster held up by Gil

18. 'Ooh, they have the internet on computers now' - Homer Simpson

17. 'Let's all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes' - The Original Homer Simpson

16. 'Allah, Jesus, Buddha, i love you all!' - Homer Simpson

15. 'Ohmygod! Tramopoline, Tramopoline!' - Homer Simpson

14. 'I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?' - Bart Simpson

13. 'Yes, i admit i used the government treasury to fund the murder of my enemies, but, as Gabbo would say, I'm a bad little boy' - Mayor Quimby

12. 'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night' -Ã,  Leon Kompowski (the guy who sounds like Michael Jackson)

11. ' I did once try to kill the world's greatest lover, but i realised there were laws against suicide' - Sideshow Bob

10. 'Agh! My eyes! The goggles do nothing!' - Rainer Wolfcastle

9. 'Hm, Barney's movie had soul, but football in the groin had a football in the groin.' - Homer Simpson

8. 'Son, if something is hard, then it's not worth doing' - Homer Simpson

7. 'Help me Jebus! Help me!- Homer Simpson

6. 'Me fail English, that's unpossible' - Ralph Wiggum

5. 'Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires!' - Homer Simpson

4. 'Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers' - Ralph Wiggum

3. 'Come family. Let us bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow' - Homer Simpson

2. 'Lisa, yvan eht nioj doesn't mean anything. It's like ramadamadingdong or give peace a chance.' - Homer Simpson

AND, NUMBER 1!

1. 'I saw this is a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city,
keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode!
I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down' - Homer Simpson


Cheers,
Fb.
PS: Feel free to add your own!
Fb.

[Privateer Puddin']

Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that's the greatest gift of all.

* Privateer Puddin' wonders if anyone will notice that's a FG quote.

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

"Original" Homer Simpson? Risking looking like I've been living in a box for the past 10 years, what does that mean, "original" Homer Simpson?

[esper]

Heh. I have heard a billion Simpsons lines that are glory in the highest, but I can't remember any right now. So therefore, I give to you:

The Best of Stewie!

Waitress: Here you go, fella. From Flappy himself.
Stewie: I don't care if they...
[Stewie is force-fed a bite of pancakes]
Stewie: Oh... oh these are delectable. Hey, Flappy. Good news. I've decided not to kill you.

[watching a baseball game]
Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me.

Soooo Broccoli, mother says you're very good for me. But I'm afraid I'm no good for you.

Stewie: Cut my eggs.
Butler: [cuts eggs] Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie: Cut my milk!
Butler: I can't sir, it's liquid.
Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I'll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won't make it easy for you.

Damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb.

No sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.

You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death.

Come any closer and I'll cut her. [realizes he's holding a tongue depresser]
Alright, I'll give her a series of splinters... that could become infected.

Am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here.

Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.

There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.

Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made out of?
Stewie: Sunshine and farts! What the hell kind of question is that?! I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."

Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?

Oh my God... It has finally happened, he has become so massive that he collapsed into himself like a neutron star

I say, Rupert, this paste is quite delicious. It's almost worth the bowel obstruction!!!

Stewie: Well, Well mother we meet again.
Lois: Stewie I thought I tucked you in an hour ago.
Stewie: Not tightly enough it would seem, and now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!

And, of course:

VICTORY IS MINE!

[Nacho]

No series should be broadcasted more than 5 years. The Simpsons suck, specially Homer, who is retarded, and having fun of a man who is obviously a retatred is a pitty (insert brain here gag?... I almost cried when I saw it) . And they've killed Fututama, which was damn cool.

I wish someone revives Grimes and he kills Homer... An adult series of Bart should be cool, though, and IMHO.

[Nikolas]

Ok. here's one.

The whole story is amazing...

The episode's called "We lost our Lisa"

Lisa, is desperate to go in an exhibition for ancient Egypt in a Museum. So she takes the bus, which takes her downtown. And there the problem begins, cause even a genius like Lisa, can't find her way back home. She bumps onto some Russian (?) guys and she's terrified.

Anyway Homer, who is the one who gave her permission to go by bus, is also desperate to find her.

In the middle of the crowded street, Homer realises that it's imposible to find her and that the only solution would be to be higher. So he goes to a guy selling balloons, and he buys all the balloons!

He then exchanges the balloons to use a cherry picker (?). He goes up, finds Lisa and then the brakes fail him and he starts slidding down the hill. Petrified with what's happening he goes:

"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there please save me SUPERMAN!"

Sorry had to explain all the situation...

The Original Homer Simson?

[Nikolas]

I wish someone revives Grimes and he kills Homer... An adult series of Bart should be cool, though, and IMHO.

I do believe that the episode with Grimes (who is truthfull about everything he says, mid you) was on Season 8.

For a guy who thinks Simsons should leave us so many years a lot you seem to know a lot about them and you seem to enjoy an episode made 3 years after they should've shut the series... 

[esper]

I agree with Farlander, although it shouldn't have been cancelled after five seasons: Some of the older shows suck, especially before they changed the animation style and perfected Homer's voice. All in all, it only had five good seasons, but they were scattered around the however-many-season reign of the show, so it was a necessary evil.

BTW: Doctor Who has been going since 1954, I think, with only a decade or so break........

And how can you not like Mr. Burns: "Release the hounds!"

[Nacho]

Nikol, I don't like the Simpsons after season 5, but the chapter about Grimes is one of my favourites, though. I perfecty agree with Grimes. Homer would have been my enemy too, and since that chapter, when Homer killed Grimes, which was just antipathy for a character became is hate and sickness.

[Nikolas]

Farlander: I don't want you to think that I love the Simpsons today... I don't. I actually believe that inspiration can take you this far. And maybe, even 5 years is a long time, maybe not. But certainly having a series forever is too long. I'm just arguing... It's just that as the time passes and inspiration fades the good episodes seem to be getting scarce more and more. But "Homers enemy" was a good one, and I really pitied Grimes. And BTW I think that in that episode was being half way sarcastic about Homer. The other half actually was saying that Ok. you can be Homer, and nobody minds really...

My opinion...

[PaulSC]

I really shouldn't post this, seeing as arguing about when the Simpsons started to go wrong is third only to the Star Wars prequels and the pros and cons of George W Bush on the list of tedious internet debates in which participation should be punishable by death.

But...saying the Simpsons sucked after series five has now taken the no.1 spot as the single most extreme and incorrect opinion on the Simpsons' decline.

The truth of the matter:

Season 1 = Enjoyable but still obviously finding its feet.
Seasons 2 - 8 = Godlike genius.
Seasons 9 - 10 = Cracks starting to show, but still consistently funny on the whole.
Seasons 11 - present = varying degrees of deadening, near-unwatchable horror, with the rare funny line and even rarer consistently solid episode.

Though to be fair i haven't watched too many post season 10 episodes. But most of the ones I have seen have been bad enough to make sure i'll probably never watch one again.

[Nikolas]

Anyway, Simpsons is a work of a genius and I don't think that there is anybody (exept 10 people every decade, maybe), that can withstand time... So there you go Simpsons is a great series, which's gone too far... Am I repeating myself?

[Nacho]

Mmm... I agree. I don't give a fuck about Homer actually, it is a group of black lines and yellow paint.

But I personally give -1 to someone who comes to me with a Homer avatar, or with a Homer t-shirt or something like that, I think Homer is old fashined and boring.

Nothing serious, one point less in my admiro-meter is not much, you can gain way more that this saying that you like spaghetti better than noddles or something... I mean... I am happy actually that if people like Homer or not is a big problem for me because that means that REALLY important things do not worry me at the moment. Ã, 

*EDIT AFTER READING PAULSC*

I don't know if it was in chapter 5 or 6, or 9 when they started to suck FOR ME, but they really suck IMHO. I am not victim of a massive internet wave of opinion, first news I have that more people thinks like me. I am not saying that the Simpsons suck, I just say that they suck for me[/s] for some years. And I would say they suck since they started to focus the gags into Homer's stupidity, don't know in which season it started. I still love Bart (My balls do not fit me in my pants) and I do love Futurama, because for me Futurama is the story of an adult Bart. A looser, yeah, but able to be sensitive and sensible in some ocasions, unlike Homer. And I do love the "apparently" supporting character (Bender), so much than the "apparently " supporting character Homer. ("apparenly" because they become the main chars, or the most focused char, after a while...).

[Kweepa]

Please don't ruin Futurama by saying it's about an adult Bart.
Bart is a boring character on his own, which is why Homer took over as the main character for most of the episodes. Fry mostly manages to fend off Bender.

As for mocking the retarded, Homer doesn't behave like a retarded character, and despite his base motivations he is an extremely lovable character, so I don't agree with you there Farl.

I think they've still got a lot to say on the Simpsons. Anything that can be critical of Fox and the current administration, and play on Fox, is a good thing in my book.

Those Stewie quotes definitely make me want to watch more Family Guy. Cheers!

[esper]

Stewie is definitely the complete and utter shite. However, I am kind of depressed about the fact that the God of All Cartoon Characters exists within such an utterly deplorable show. I might be a bit old fashioned, but I find jokes that degrade women and excessive sexual innuendos to be tiresome and immature (yes, I am a heterosexual male). I find Peter to be a fat idiot, like Farlander's concept of Homer, and pray daily for his immediate evisceration. Chris ::shudders:: let's not even discuss Chris. Seth Green should be ashamed that he can portray utter stupidity and... well, fatness isn't a personality trait, but... fatness... with such skill. Meg is okay, and Lois is okay. I want Quagmire to suffer a horrible death, although in the rare instance when he's not being a horndog he can pop out the occassional funny line. Joe is cool, and I love Stewie's perception of him as a cyborg ("tell me, how did you come across this wonderful machine?"). That black guy who's name I can't immediately remember is probably the third funniest character, even though he's as dry as Ben Stein (who is also, IMHO, quite humorous). Second only to Stewie is Brian. Spell "DOG" backwards and realize his true glory.

[Squinky]

I remember watching the simpsons on the commercial breaks of the Tracey Ulman show, back when they first started up. I don't mind the shows now, I don't really know if its better or worse, but it's gone on long enough. I had hoped that futurama would be given all the attention and continue on, but no, we got screwed there.

[Adamski]

I've never understood the backlash against Family Guy, because between that and Futurama (and occasionally South Park) you'll not find a more hilarious animated comedy (although I guess if you have a rather conservative sense of humour it's bound to leave distaste).

[Nacho]

Oh, come on... It is Bart with tanned skin and a different nose!

J/K. I was just talking about the figure of an american 1980-and-something born loser.

Fry's story with the fascist dad and the sport fan mum and Yamshee (sp) it's more appealing to me.

And yeah... In my mind Bart and Homer appear to be rivals into leading the series interest role issue. Bender and Fry seem to be mates in that aspect for me.

[Eggie]

This is definately my favourite Family Guy related thing to quote:
http://zvbxrpl.blogspot.com/2004/09/why-i-hate-family-guy.html

[Nacho]

I agree, but I pissed it off with Tom "Custard" (saying I like Southampton F.C.) before, so I decided not to mention anything about Family Man...

Oooops...