Emerald BG Critique

[R4L]

Update at my last post.

[pslim]

I think it's a pretty darn neat sprite.

The static view is markedly superior to the walk cycle, though. To me he looks like he's scooting along... it doesn't read like he's crossing one leg past the other and taking normal steps. It looks like the leg that starts out in front stays in front and the leg that starts out behind stays behind. I think this is partly because his shoes are two different shapes and the shapes stay on their respective sides throughout.

Also, the hat doesn't really look like a fedora, which is what I imagine a trenchcoated noir figure would be wearing. Fedoras usually slope down in the front and up in the back; his hat slopes downward all over.

Lastly I think his torso is several pixels too long compared to his legs, but I could be wrong.


Hope this helps some and I can't wait to see the game.Ã, 

[MashPotato]

I think this is pretty neat, and it would be interesting to see this in a game ^_^

A few things:
-like Pslim said, his legs are too short... if you look at where his thigh extends from his torso, it's pretty low
-I think a slightly less exaggerated gait would match the top half of his body more.  Try keeping his knees closer in line with his body
-I agree with Pslim that it doesn't look like his legs are crossing properly, and the different shapes of the shoes is partly responsible.  Also, to me it appears that his legs are in straight profile while his body is in a 3/4 view.
-if he's wearing a trenchcoat, I think it should be covering his legs more

Good work so far, keep at it! ^_^

[R4L]

Thanks for the replies!

Pslim- Yeah I thought that it looked as if he were just kinda scooting along too.  But the part on the left on his torso in the idle frame, the part that sticks out just a bit, is supposed to be his right arm. The collar is also on that same side, thats why it gets smaller as we walks. But I totally agree with you on the legs. As in fedora, do you mean this?



Mash-  That 3/4 view the torso shows was supposed to show more detail in part to the animation, because it is a silouette, and I wanted the player to know that it actually is a dangerous character, by looking at the shapes moving on him, but yeah the legs are all screwed up. I was thinking of making a trenchcoat but I wasn't sure yet.

Anyway, thanks for the replies, and I'll be working on it as soon as I come back home after some tasty BBQ! :o

[Evil]

His torso moves like he has a stiff leg. The shoulder closest to us should go past his "body" right now it moves back and to the middle, but doesn't go forward. The gimping walk makes him look more dangerous, but his shoudler would still move forward a few pixels. His knees are also very high.

[Damien]

I like the sprite and the style used for it. Here are some tweaks that could help you:

1 - the original frames
2 - duplicated frames 1 and 5 from the original animation and changed the order of
     the frames so it runs more smoothly
   - fixed frames 3 and 4 where the char looked like he was about to fall on his back
   - tried to make the legs longer
   - maked the char shortest in the frames where his feet are furthest apart
3 - shifted the animation to right for one frame
   - played with the collar bounce
   - made the shoulders move in both directions
4 - tweaked everything from above

The paint-overed animation - 10 frames, 1/10sec per frame:

As you can see, there is a small limp. That's probably because the leg animation is copy-pasted so the same leg always goes forward. Also, there are some jerky head movements and few stray pixels I didn't fix.

Keep it up.

[R4L]

Oh-myÃ,  :o Damien! That is awesome! Do you mind if I use this in the game?

Update: Okay, I just worked on the character's talk view. Here are the frames:









Keeping the same look as the sprite you see. Im trying to silouette him, and keep his figure, while showing who he really is, a bad guy. This, however, is rather difficult for me, but I think I nailed it here. Right now, I'm using Sin City as an inspiration. How does this look?

[Ali]

Keeping the same look as the sprite you see. Im trying to silouette him, and keep his figure, while showing who he really is, a bad guy. This, however, is rather difficult for me, but I think I nailed it here. Right now, I'm using Sin City as an inspiration. How does this look?

I really think you have nailed a gumshoe grimace. Taking Sin City as a visual influence is a good idea. However, If you are trying to create a noir narrative I'd look elsewhere.

Noir detectives don't kill their way to the truth. Look to the Maltese Falcon or the Big Sleep. And for more visual inspiration look to German Expressionist prints. There are some examples on THIS page.

This character is coming along really well!

[R4L]

Thank you Ali for the comments. I can't reveal whether this guy is good or bad, because then I would have to spoil part of the game for you 

[Damien]

Do you mind if I use this in the game?

Feel free to use it.


About the talk view, you could try rotating his head more like in this photograph, for example. That way the facial features (jaw, cheeks, ...) would be more noticeable and you could use their movements to add more detail to the talk cycle.

Sorry for not making an example, but I have little time right now.

[R4L]

its ok, I understand what your saying. That would definately bring out features.

[R4L]

*bump*

[earlwood]

Though Damien's walkcycle fixes a lot of problems, I've noticed that is shoulder sway back in forth, it looks as though he only does it when one of the two legs are extended, maybe you should put the should thing in frames 7 and 8, though I'm not 100% sure right now.

[R4L]

Noir detectives don't kill their way to the truth.

You must of forgot about Max Payne.

Anyway, earlwood, I think Damien's version looks great. I think it's because there aren't alot of frames, and the shoulders would have to go with the flow of the legs.

[earlwood]

It IS great, it just kinda gives me the feeling that one of sides never moves, like a stroke surviver.



This is kinda what I had in mind, but there would have to a redrawing in order to make it seem as though the left shoulder comes forward.

[Edit] In frames 5,6, and 9 his ass completely disappears, maybe it only bothers me.

And he walks a little too fast.

[Nikolas]

I haven't read the whole thread, but what I see in ALL the walkcycles is that becasue the sprite is black, you're all trying to get away by repeating posses. The legs in particular never seem to be going one after the other. It's always one-one-one, never one-two-one etc...

like earlwood said...

Other than that IT IS GREAT! indeed! I like it and I've been following this trhead.!

[R4L]

earlwood, I see what you were trying to explain, and your absolutely right. i'll have to make some edits. Thanks for the help!

[R4L]

UPDATE- Here are the intro sequences, I need some critique on the knife-hand one.

Heres the first:

Heres the second:

How are these?

EDIT: Here are the new talk views, referenced from the picture Damien shared in his post.

[n3tgraph]

Lovely!

I suggest though, to put the knife in his hand and not in his wrist.
It also looks like a huge sabre to me.

Maybe make the knife a bit smaller, it looks like the hand fits twice in the knife. Use your own 2 hands to simulate the size of the knife!

Kinda large eh?

For the rest, the style is great!

[R4L]

Ok, I fixed this picture:



Instead of putting the knife in his hand (too gritty ) I just showed the knife on the ground next to the victim. You might ask about the hand, well I put my hand on my computer desk, relaxed it, and then drew it out.