Blip And Radar Progress Thread

fovmester · Mon 12/02/2007 05:33:16

I loved that one! It actually made me LOL! Which the other ones sadly did not. It is possible that you'd need more than 3 frames to get the timing right for simple jokes like this.

Ghost · Mon 12/02/2007 05:56:34

The graphic style of the last one's better too... looks cuter, and thus enables you to play on the cute site.

Chicky · Mon 12/02/2007 08:14:02

'i hate you' would be better as 'your mother has just died'

Or something...

PsychicHeart · Mon 12/02/2007 08:39:53

Oh, and also i added "Anti Videogame Crusader" to the line "Hi, I'm Mack Johnson". Should make the realization of who the character is parodying a bit clearer.

Hammerite · Mon 12/02/2007 11:44:58

i was thinking you could just call him jack thompson?
give it a harder punch.

Ashen · Mon 12/02/2007 12:17:43

I got who he was meant to be right away, I just don't think it's particularly funny.

While Mr. Flibble's is funnier than some of the others (maybe you could try the longer format, as fovmester said, to give the joke more space to develop) I prefer the 'feel' of the originals. (I actually liked the primary colours, and those 'anime eyes' in frame 3 always bug me...)

PsychicHeart · Thu 15/02/2007 04:23:46

In these strips i attempted to, much like the Jack Thompson and BSOD strips, incorporate pop culture, ie. Metal Gear Solid 2 and Macs.

monkey0506 · Thu 15/02/2007 05:29:00

"Silently killing his prey" would actually imply he was killing someone, wouldn't it? It just seems to me that it would make more sense as "Silently stalking his prey".

I'd say that this strip has probably improved, though as I have never played Metal Gear Solid, much of the cultural aspect of this strip is lost to me.

As for the Mac strip I think that the last frame could use a bit of work. I'm not sure how you could do it differently, the punch-line just didn't grip me as being very humorous.

ManicMatt · Thu 15/02/2007 10:53:36

I didn't get what was supposed to be funny about dynamite, so I thought maybe this comment would be Radar being unaware of how stupid he's acting. Funnier at all.. anyone?

Also, if there were two clicks, does that mean Blip switched the light twice? Wouldn't it be dark again?

Mr Flibble · Thu 15/02/2007 21:55:49

Some light switches make a soft click and then a louder one. I can imagine the sound effect.

But yeah, for a comic? Go with one click. ManiacMatt's edit is, in my opinion, far superior. If nothing else, for the inclusion of an actual joke.

In the Snake comic... I mean, I get what's going on but... is there a joke in there? I've never had the radio thingy beep when I'm about to kill someone. What you've got there is a funny idea once again. There is a joke about Snake dying and someone yelling "SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE". It's in there. Somewhere.

vict0r · Thu 15/02/2007 22:09:54

I think just "Goddamnit Blip!" would be enough!

LimpingFish · Thu 15/02/2007 22:20:39

Warning, long post.

I quite like the MGS one, clumsy and obvious though it may be.

Not that it's the pinnacle of comedy, but VGCats has some funny MGS parodies...

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens · Sat 17/02/2007 16:41:08

I did this really quickly, might give you some ideas. It works without the thought bubbles as well.

Akatosh · Sun 18/02/2007 09:58:29

May be because I never played that game... but I still like "My Eyes!", the Fire/Acid comic and "Lights off" (the original version) best.

PsychicHeart · Fri 23/02/2007 08:27:47

Everybody loves teh Burst Angel.

This strip spawned when a friend mentioned to me that my characters look like the ghosts in Pac-Man.

Cheers,
Fluke

Vespr · Fri 23/02/2007 12:46:32

These ones made me smile.

I don't understand the second one at all but it's making me giggle- maybe cause I'm currently lacking sleep and I like the bizarreness.

Babar · Fri 23/02/2007 15:37:20

I know nothing about Burst Angel, so it'd be pointless for me to comment about that. However, in the 2nd comic, while I realise the line of thought after the description you gave underneath, from just reading the comic I don't get it. When he says "Close, but no cigar, man", I'm not understanding what he's talking about. The "..." and talk about Bob make it even more confusing. Unfortunately, even after I (kind of) got the joke, I still didn't find it funny.

Tuomas · Fri 23/02/2007 15:52:47

Is the point in the second one that they're having a casual chat, and the guy comes as if he's part of the comic, but then he isn't, only close?

And is the point int he first about the show and the expressinos? I wouldn't say Burst Angel would be the best to that, but I haven't seen that so much. But you know how it would get better a lot? Add one frame where he just stares with a plain face before the last one. Here, I'll show you:

You see, when you do this, you'll give the reader some time, a whole frame's time to realise what's happening. Whereas, when you jump into it as quick as you did, most people won't notice the change. I hope I got it right, and this is what you were on about

Mr Flibble · Fri 23/02/2007 16:07:23

Aha! Yes!
I like these ones, definately moving in the right direction now. I haven't seen Burst Angel either but I get the premise of the strip, and it did raise a smile.
The Pacman one is a little harder to get but I smiled again just from the "Close but no cigar, man." I wasn't expecting it, but it worked. It seemed to me like Bob was the ghost, I don't know if that's what you were going for.

From a visual perspective the expressions are very nice, I love the D: on Blip in the 2nd panel. Might be an idea to give them some feet? Or round them off at the bottom perhaps.

Akatosh · Fri 23/02/2007 16:08:59

How about a comic explaining why "Radarette" didn't show up yet?

Blip And Radar Progress Thread

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