Am I a weird asocial ?

[Buckethead]

I've just saw this topic and I must say:

Be my friend! I'm just like you. I never drink alcohol because I don't like the taste of it. And I don't dance either. Sorry I haven't read what all the others said but it's really not anything to be ashamed of. Just do what you like and be happy 

[Oliwerko]

Oh, we have now a rather big discussion here, nice.

Nikolas,
Well, you are true to some extent, but these photos are very rare. So are these "actions" in which I participate. But, as I said, there is something on what you say...

largopredator,
Nicely said about that foggy and chaotic thinking. I, just like you like to be able to think properly and soberily all the time. I am a bit afraid of myself, of things that I could do drank that I do not do normally. That is the interesting thing. That sometimes when you get drunk, you do things that you do not do when you are sober. Isnt this somehow denying your personality ? I dont know...
However, I do not care much what other people think of me. I care what my friends think of me, but I really do not care what the others think. I am just like this, and I wont change only because someone thinks I am in whichever way "wrong".

ProgZmax,
Yeah, these are problems that come with it. Thats the trouble. That you cant be sure what to expect from those people. But I wouldnt end a friendship just because that person drinks. This is personal though....

Mr. Buckéthead,
Yes, nicely, shortly and perfectly expressed.

It is sad that I could be "more friendly" and have closer relationship to some people, and because of these things in my personality, I just cant. I know that if I say this, these of my friends are maybe not my "true" friends. I have mixed feelings about that. I have a friendship with them, but I see that I could have closer friendship with them, maybe through these "activities", or that "something" that LimpingFish described. But I do not. And that is somewhat weird.

EDIT:
Nikolas, I just recalled something regarding the photo you mentioned. They were "a bit" drunk. That evening I decided to think about it. And I was thinking so long, that I wrote here finally . So it is...well...interesting. I actually was probably the only sober one from my group....again. Not that I was not having fun, but it was not so comfortable to me that they were all drunk, you know....

[Tuomas]

Just get a bit drunk. Then you'll know if it's worth it and if you'll ever want to do it again. If you do it you don't have to say you're a freak for not doing it afterwards, and if it so happens that you start understanding how fun people have with alcohol, what's so bad about that? My personal philosophy is to try out everything, mountain climbing, gay sex, alcohol, joints, fish, staying awake marathons, growing beetroot, And from all of this I regret nothing, but after doing it I would regret not doing it before I did. What do you have to lose?

[MillsJROSS]

I don't really want to touch the subject of drugs (alcohol included) or dancing. Not that they might not play a part in your so called asocial behavior, but I like to think of people belonging into (very) general two groups. Those who live in the moment, and those who observe the moment.

Those who live in the moment, have a more carefree way of living. They're more social, and can talk to just about anyone. With or without other stimulus, their able to make several friends. These people in a large group of strangers are comfortable with themselves.

Those who observe the moment, are constantly aware of themselves. They're not as social, and have to reach a certain comfort zone with those around them before they can engage in a more carefree attitude. They, generally, have a few solid friends, and everyone else is a shade of friend to acquaintance. These people in a large group of strangers, aren't comfortable, but generally bored. They prefer smaller gatherings with people they know. What you may call shy, they tend to think their on the rim of social circles. Ironically, they can esteem themselves very well.

Now, this grouping is by no way definitive, and most people (if not everyone) can switch from one to another. It's just that, generally, people are mostly living in the moment, or mostly observing the moment.  I consider myself to be an observer of the moment. Whether or not this is a true grouping of people, or just a perceived grouping, I know I can see people act a certain way, and be mystified by it. Just as I'm sure some people might not understand the joy I get from curling up to a good book on a Friday night, and not drinking every weekend (or weekday). In either group, just find things you like to do, and people you enjoy, and life will be sweet.

The reason I didn't touch on drugs/dancing, is because I don't think your drug use has much of a bearing on which group you fall in. Dancing might, but I'm not prepared to argue it either way.

-MillsJROSS

[Khris]

It's really amazing how clouded by hatred towards alcohol and the folks who enjoy it some people's minds are. Really amazing. And sad.
Tuomas put it very well.

Drinking isn't biting animals heads off or a sure path to coming to in a hospital bed every other day. It's just something people do to enjoy themselves. Like riding a roller-coaster or watching a movie.

If somebody got beat up by his drunk father on a regular basis, I can understand why they don't want to touch it. But there are uncountable numbers of people whose worst experience was a headache. So please get a grip.

[LimpingFish]

It's really amazing how clouded by hatred towards alcohol and the folks who enjoy it some people's minds are.

Yes, but we are specifically discussing the abuse of alcohol as a pastime. In effect, mass binge drinking as social interaction. Anybody who drinks specifically to get rat-arsed drunk is in the wrong. They are free to behave that way if the choose, no argument, but it is their definition of "enjoyment" that is skewed.

Social drinking, as in a couple of beers/glasses of wine/snifters of port with friends in an enjoyable atmosphere, isn't the problem here. Nor is "hatred" of alcohol the issue, although people may have, for whatever reasons, deep-rooted aversions to it.

Achieving a level of intoxication, whereby you lose control of your speech/limbs/bodily fuctions, isn't something to aspire to, in my opinion, and certainly would play no part in my social activites.

Something Oliwerko posted earlier; the girl who told him to "just drink it down fast", clearly tells us that enjoying the drink itself isn't the point of drinking in this way.

The point is simply to injest as much alcohol as is possible in the shortest space of time. Flavourless water, if it contained alcohol, would suit these people just as well.

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

I fully endorse the above.

[EldKatt]

I don't know what the situation is like in Germany, but in Sweden you'd have to be pretty blind not to notice the fairly unhealthy attitude towards alcohol an astonishing number of teenagers have. It's not about hatred, unless you start believing that these people are somehow evil. Sure, drinking can be fun and the side effects can be avoided by clever people, but not acknowledging the vast numbers of people not having fun as a consequence, for various reasons and on various timescales, is just naïve.

[Nikolas]

Sadly in the uk it appears that they LOVE their alcohol, and no matter how much money goes into advertising against it, still it's there all the time.

Proble, for me, is not the stupidity, or self destract essense of alcohol, but the fact that drunk people can become dangerous. "Antisocial" behaviour is a bullshit word for young, usually people who act like shit and should be locked away until they can control themselves. 

Other than that, to comment on something, I don't think that there is a specific "brand" or "race" or "kind" of people who go to bars, and people should not like them. I like a bar or two, and love my beer. But don't overdo it (generally that is, unless I'm home alone for a month and I stay home and get drunk to be able to sleep for a few hours, but that's totally different and I'm alone, won't be going out, or driving, or hurting anyone but myself, in that short period of time)

[Meowster]

I was in a similar situation to you, Oli, when I was in school/college. Basically, I did not smoke and, when I did drink, I enjoyed a nice glass of wine in the comfort of my own home, or a nice organic ale in my garden in the summer. I hated getting drunk and being around drunk people, I hated being in loud pubs where I couldn't hear anything, and I hated going to clubs.

In school, it made it quite difficult to have good friends, as it seems to be for you. I didn't WANT to go clubbing and get drunk on cheap alcopops, when I could be at home in bed, playing RE4 with a glass of wine or a cup of tea, and some snacks. It didn't make sense!

Since leaving school I've met people who are way more like me in that regard. My boyfriend and I, as sad as it sounds, rarely go to pubs and never go clubbing. It's just not fun. We spend our weekends in our living room with games, books, movies and music, our two cats, some wine and lots of good food

So, I wouldn't worry about it, you're not some kind of sociopath or something. In fact, I totally think that what you do is far preferable to what almost all teenagers seem to do these days, and I'd rather hang out with you than them!

PS I agree most alcohol doesn't taste nice, but try a nice wine or an ice-cold organic ale... yum yum!

[Khris]

LimpingFish: Agreed.  I just wanted to make it clear that there's something in between staying completely sober and getting totally wasted.

I know that most minors who drink don't stop until they have to because their body won't hold in the stuff. And I used to hear from parties my younger sister went to. The person who could swallow the most got the most respect, regardless whether said person threw up all over the place afterwards.

It was different for me; I took the moderate approach when I was younger. I enjoyed being "high" from the alcohol and even more enjoyed watching other people barf on each other
Plus, the next morning I could tell them the embarrassing stuff they did, and all of us had a good laugh, especially me.

So regarding Oliwerko's situation: why not mix the stuff, water it down. I loved Vodka Orange when I was 18/19. It's up to you whether there's going to be more vodka or more orange juice in the glass.
If people are seriously going to mock you or even exclude you just because you don't gulp down liters of 40% pure, you can still leave.

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

The bizarre thing, Khrismuc, is that in your own way you're trying to persuade him to drink.  Why should there be any vodka in his glass at all?  This is the sort of thing I've heard from random people in the past, 'oh just drink a little, it's okay!  Just have one!' 

How about none?  Isn't none also fantastically okay?

[vict0r]

The bizarre thing, Khrismuc, is that in your own way you're trying to persuade him to drink.  Why should there be any vodka in his glass at all?  This is the sort of thing I've heard from random people in the past, 'oh just drink a little, it's okay!  Just have one!' 

How about none?  Isn't none also fantastically okay?

Sure it is! But only if you actually know what on earth you are talking about. Getting completely shitfaced is nothing I've ever really wanted. I've always, as KhrisMUC, had a very moderate approach towards alcohol. I don't mind people not drinking! Why should I? But don't avoid alcohol just because other people have a retarded attitude towards it. In my opinion, one should try to have a beer or a few and feel the good sides of alcohol instead of just being scared away from all the retards..!

[Khris]

Exactly. Though I wouldn't call anybody a retard
It's not like you get addicted as soon as you drink one drop. So while not drinking at all is fantastically okay, having a few beers is, too.
We aren't talking about Heroin or stuff like that, so persuading someone to have a few drinks doesn't make me feel uneasy in the least bit.

[EldKatt]

Heard it before. The whole you shouldn't reject it until you've tried it thing. I have no Freudian childhood crap influencing how I feel towards alcohol, nor do I really give a damn if people drink, but that argument has always seemed so utterly flawed, empty and fallacious to me. I don't see any problem with not drinking despite not having tried, because it's easy enough to acquire second-hand knowledge of it, and make an informed judgment on how you want to act, even without drinking. In fact, I find it far, far worse when people reject, say, a particular genre of music without having "tried" it properly, as it were, because they might be missing out on really great stuff. Alcohol, though, isn't particularly awesome. It's a psychoactive drug, and not a very potent one. It's not even hallucinogenic. Miss that, and I really doubt that you'll regret it on your deathbed.

[Tuomas]

I enjoy red wine. I really enjoy a fine pint of lager. A Czechish malt, pilsner or budvar, love it, more than coke or sprite. But I despise cider etc.

But the most important thing is, that you don't start drinking because of what your mates look like when drunk and you don't stay away from alcohol only because of what your friends look like when drunk. I mean, if you don't drink because you feel alcohol is a drug, then your reason is the same as why I don't smoke and I accept it. Hell, I accept every reason, but most of them i don't understand, except for this one. Though myself, I try everything people give me, from mushrooms to nailpolisher, if it doesn't kill me. Ok, j/k. But not drinking because not wanting to look like a drunk I cannot accept. And KhrisMUC, next time I'm in Germany, let's have a pint or something that isn't Berliner, I had too much of that on my last visit

[Khris]

I don't see any problem with not drinking despite not having tried, because it's easy enough to acquire second-hand knowledge of it, and make an informed judgment on how you want to act, even without drinking.

Second-hand knowledge? Riiight. Sorry, that seems way more flawed than my argument.
Have you tried chocolate? Sure you have. But do you really think somebody could describe the taste of it accurately enough to satisfy you if you hadn't (since you do know how it tastes)? No way.
Btw, you should be consequent and warn others when you see they're going eat to chocolate. I mean it takes just a tiny nibble and all your teeth will fall out and you're going to die of diabetes.

And about alcohol being a drug: just like any other drug, or chocolate, it's only dangerous if you consume unreasonable amounts.

I readily, immediately accept the refusal to drink alcohol from anyone. If the person tried it. Because despite what they might think, they don't have any idea of how it feels to be drunk.

Tuomas: You'll find the best beer is down here, in Bavaria

[MrColossal]

What about not wanting to drink, not enjoying the taste of alcohol, and not wanting to know what it's like when drunk? I'm just not curious. I've never been drunk and most alcohol I've ever consumed in a single sitting is half a glass of wine [I tried drinking it and could barely finish the half I did get down].

The thing is, people say to someone like me who doesn't like the taste of alcohol "Drink Sangria or a mixed drink! It's just like juice!" but I'm also not interested in drinking alcohol, I just so happen to also not enjoy the taste.

So when someone says "why not mix the stuff, water it down." I have to ask "To what purpose is this trying to achieve?" He doesn't want to drink but have him drink anyway?

How many here have rejected receiving anal sex without trying it? Shame shame!

[Domino]

How many here have rejected receiving anal sex without trying it? Shame shame!

I guess a lot of alcohol and somebody being totally drunk could lead to this. 

[Tuomas]

How many here have rejected receiving anal sex without trying it? Shame shame!

Never rejected and am curious. People just usually draw back.