paramore - crushcrushcrush...on my best friend's sister?

monkey0506 · Fri 16/05/2008 16:15:35

Recently my best friend's sister uploaded some of her new pictures, and when I saw them I realized something. She's not a little girl anymore. She's almost 17 years old now, and somewhere in there she found the time to become incredibly hot while remaining completely under the radar. Most likely because I've known her for eleven years.

The pictures got me thinking...and the more I think about her...the more I want to think about her. But now I'm becoming pretty conflicted. She is my best friend's younger sister. I've known her for 11 years. She's still underage. Flags are going up saying STAY AWAY! but it seems the harder I try not to think about her, the more I do.

I keep rationalizing with myself. Telling myself that I can't possibly have feelings for her. I don't really know her all that well. But that just makes me think that in the 11 years I've known her, I've really never gotten to know her. I know basically about her personality and whatnot, but I don't really know her. Then thinking along these lines makes me want to. I want to get to know her. What she thinks about, what she feels, what she cares about in life, what makes her happy, what makes her sad, what she loves, and what she hates...

But she's my best friend's sister! I'm not supposed to like her! Suddenly life for me has become much more awkward. I live with two of her brothers (my best friend and his brother

) and I'm terrified they'll walk around the corner and see me staring at her picture, lost in thought about her.

I'm not saying I love her. I don't. But I think I may have a crush...on my best friend's sister.

Tuomas · Fri 16/05/2008 16:19:00

So... where's the link?

Buckethead · Fri 16/05/2008 16:27:00

I say go for it. If he's really such a good friend he should be ok with it. Just treat her well. I dunno why her being under age should be an issue. If you are not planning to have sex you should be alright I guess.

SSH · Fri 16/05/2008 16:38:33

Move to the UK where 16 isn't underage.

monkey0506 · Fri 16/05/2008 16:40:13

@Tuomas: Lol but no.

Buckethead, I guess it wouldn't be a big deal really, it just makes me nervous. All it would take would be her saying that I did something...I'm not saying she would (I honestly doubt she would), but it just makes the situation all the more awkward.

Honestly I think my friend would be okay with it. I also have to think about her parents. They know me and seem to like me and get along with me pretty well, but that doesn't mean they would necessarily want me dating their daughter. And then who's to say she would even be interested in me anyway?

If I do decide to pursue it (which I think I already am very, very cautiously and slowly), I think I'll have to proceed very carefully. Especially if she's not interested, mentioning that I am could make things quite more awkward than my life already is. $:-\$

SSH and/or Flibble: Loan me $5000 ($2k for flight, $3k for moving, and "getting started" expenses).

Mr Flibble · Fri 16/05/2008 16:40:44

Quote from: SSH on Fri 16/05/2008 16:38:33
Move to the UK where 16 isn't underage.

Listen to this man.

Darth Mandarb · Fri 16/05/2008 16:43:19

I once dated a good friend's younger sister ... he actually gave me his blessing to do so. I called him and told him I was interested but that I wouldn't proceed without his consent. He was totally cool with it and even said he couldn't think of a better guy blah blah blah ...

So it really depends. The very best thing you can do is be up-front and honest (with your friend AND with the sister).

Don't "date" her behind his back because he WILL eventually find out and if you've been hiding it from it you've immediately lost because you're admitting you were doing something wrong (or you'd not have hidden it in the first place!).

My famous quote:
"No skirt is worth losing a friend..."

But above all ... if you think your friend would NOT be okay with it (IE might ruin the friendship) make sure that it's not just lusting over some young hottie!! I have found, through bitter (BITTER) experience that often we lust after an object that we can't have.

Search your feelings ... this is a very touchy subject!

Best of luck!

Emerald · Fri 16/05/2008 21:11:55

Pfft, since when did everyone become so sensitive about this crap?

I tend to take a "flirt with them until someone tells you not to" kind of attitude, and it works out pretty well. You just have to have a sense of when people are getting upset, and when they don't care. Maybe it's just me, but you can see it in their eyes when someone's uncomfortable...

Tuomas · Fri 16/05/2008 22:19:28

My friend has actually taken this "having a crush on your friends lil' sis'" to a new level. I can count 4 friends whose little sister he's had a crush on, and there's always a new one

He's made it clear to the friends, it's not a secret in our circles, but he hasn't made any moves towards the sisters. He though he'd better just leave it be as it is.

But I can't really give you advice on this. In a reproductive sense it really doesn't matter who your mate is, so you don't have to go hurting their feelings. What you could do is hang around with her and see if she even acts a bit interested. If so, then I think you should go for it. I would.

monkey0506 · Fri 16/05/2008 22:45:36

You should have been on Stickam I was showing everyone there pictures of her.

Oh well...I'm afraid to approach her brother about it. We've been best friends for 11 years...and I'm pretty sure it's not a big deal to him...but...I just don't want to make things awkward...but then I find myself, almost coming out of a trance...realizing I've been staring at her picture and thinking about her again. I've got to do something...I think I'll bite the bullet and talk to her brother.

LimpingFish · Fri 16/05/2008 23:57:38

Didn't you have a similar problem in the past, Monkey?

Or is this the same girl. $:-\$

auriond · Sat 17/05/2008 01:06:57

You go Monkey.

Talk to her brother. And try not to be creepy while you're at it

and you should be fine. The worst that could happen is that your friendships become strained if he thinks it's weird that you like his sister. But if you work this out just right, he shouldn't find it weird - after all you haven't actually DONE anything yet besides think of her, right?

Good luck, and let us know how it turns out.

monkey0506 · Sat 17/05/2008 04:49:16

Quote from: LimpingFish on Fri 16/05/2008 23:57:38Didn't you have a similar problem in the past, Monkey?

Or is this the same girl. $:-\$

Actually it's a different girl, and the situation is rather different in itself. Though I would like to think that I've learned from my past mistakes, and certainly plan not to remake them!

Quote from: auriond on Sat 17/05/2008 01:06:57You go Monkey. Talk to her brother. And try not to be creepy while you're at it and you should be fine.

I'm a rather awkward person to have to listen to when it comes to something quite like this. For two hours I stalled with discussion of physics, time travel, the multiverse theory, even trigonometry! Finally in the end though I was forced to admit while holding a small pocket knife to my wrist:

"If I were dead then it would be pointless for me to have a crush on your sister. That would solve my problems!"

I wasn't being serious about the knife and he knew it, but at least I finally blurted it out. He assured me it wasn't a big deal and he doesn't care. I knew he wouldn't, but the situation still made me wretchedly nervous. The hard part I imagine would be trying to approach her about it. Girls always did terrify me.

It's still terribly awkward crushing on her like this...but at least phase one is over...but wait...isn't phase two the one with the lasers? Dammit!

miguel · Sat 17/05/2008 14:26:21

Just give us the link Lebowsky!

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens · Sat 17/05/2008 14:32:06

It's not like there aren't other humans with breasts out there to be interested in. If you really think it's an issue, find another one to obsess over.

Problem solved!

jetxl · Sat 17/05/2008 14:40:34

According to Helm's age difference rule of thumb you can date her.
Don't!
You'll only fuck everthing up.

Now where are those pics.

Phemar · Sat 17/05/2008 15:44:31

pics plz

Hammerite · Sat 17/05/2008 18:11:43

pics plz

Nacho · Sat 17/05/2008 18:39:13

Quote from: Hammerite on Sat 17/05/2008 18:11:43
pics please

Re-please?

monkey0506 · Sat 17/05/2008 21:20:26

Well I guess it couldn't hurt to post one little picture...I'm such a fool for peer pressure!

The full-size image on her MySpace is one of my favorite pictures of her.

I have been told that I have overexaggerated the hotness of this chick...but the fact that I find her attractive at all threw me for a loop in the first place. I've known her for most of my life, and gone most of my life without ever really thinking of her like that. It's just kind of a kick in the head when I saw this picture for the first time and had to say, "Holy hell your sister is hot! :o"