A little article on how to save Star Wars...

[magintz]

I'm lazy it's midnight, the article didnt exactly look short, can somone give me the jist?

[LordHart]

Hmmm, heres something from DarkHorizons concerning the title:

The long-awaited final Star Wars blockbuster will be called Birth Of The Empire, movie insiders have revealed to Brtish tabloid The Sun and the highlight of the space epic will be a thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) while surfing on lava.

The Hollywood source said: "Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on platforms on the lava. They control these like surfboards". Meanwhile in regards to the title, the source added: "There's going to be a big announcement soon. They've tried lots of titles but the most popular is Birth Of The Empire."

Also, heres a screenshot of an apparently changed ending of Return of the Jedi...


I had heard they were doing crap like this, but I think it might be a hoax. I have seen only one other pic of a "change" and that was replacing the old woman who they had for The Emporer in Empire with the guy who plays, well, the Emporer.

[Las Naranjas]

Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on platforms on the lava. They control these like surfboards

[edmundito]

Yeah, it kind of looks like a hoax, but it's still a pretty good photoshop. The suit anakin is wearing, though, does not match the suit he's wearing on Ep III, nor the suit worn by the old guy who originally played Anakin. So, it might be true after all.   :'(

---

I read the article from the first post... LOL.

Here's a summary of the Kurosawa movie "The Hidden Fortress", as told by blockbuster's website:
"Running from the enemy after a disastrous defeat, the two soldiers fall in with general Toshiro Mifune, who is in search of a huge cache of gold. Mifune is also desirous of freeing princess-in-exile Misa Uehara from the clutches of the evil victorious army. Several large and small battles ensue before Mifune can realize his goal. If the plot of Hidden Fortress sounds vaguely familiar to you, try this exercise: substitute two robots for Chiaki and Fujiwara, Mark Hamill for Mifune, and Carrie Fisher for Uehara."

I'll prefer a good ripped off movie 1000 times more than a bad original movie. If you don't care, just try to watc a Lifetime original movie and then let's see who's right

Well, time to rip off monkey island for my next game... lol, just kidding

[ElectricMonk]

The suit anakin is wearing, though, does not match the suit he's wearing on Ep III, nor the suit worn by the old guy who originally played Anakin.

Actually it looks exactly like Sebastian Shaw (old Anakin)'s robes. Hoax.

[edmundito]

In detail....

[LordHart]

It looks lame... and seriously, if they change that, then that means Anakin Skywalker wasn't Vader as HE IS TOO FUCKING YOUNG THERE!!!

Vader died as an old man, not a young idiotic robotic fuckhead like Hayden Christiansen... LUCAS MUST BE STOPPED!!!

[Peter Thomas]

Peter Thomas, that isn't very Christian of you. Or something like that. I'm too lazy to find the proper quote

It wasn't very Christian of George Lucas to make that stupid film

[Kinoko]

Darth Vader being called 'Anakin' never did sit right with me. It's a terribly pussy name... I wish the 'origin' of DV had gone more like, "Guy grew up to be a big, awesome Jedi. He was a dude, and didn't take crap from anyone. He may have had a beard at some point. Then he got a bit weird, evil and became Darth Vader where he was once again a dude, albiet an evil one."

His original name should have been... Vader or something. Or Dart (god, I love that name, any Island of Moreau fans out there?). Something a little less pussy than 'Anakin'.

Also (sorry for all those people that wish I'd just shut up), does anyone else think 'Darth Maul' is one of the most spastic names ever? I laughed out loud the first time I heard it thinking it was a joke. Sadly though... -_-

[Darth Mandarb]

Good lord I hope they don't change/add anything to the OT!!Ã,  It was great the way it was George!!

It was perfect even before the Special Editions!

I loved the name of Anakin until they started calling him Ani in the prequels.Ã,  Then the name was tarnished to me.

That picture of Anakin (photoshopped into Return of the Jedi) is pretty good ... but why would he be that young?Ã,  Perhaps because that was the age he was when he ceased to be Anakin Skywalker?Ã,  Who knows ...

I don't particularly like 'Birth of the Empire' but, then again, I hated 'Attack of the Clones' for a long time too.

[Esseb]

Good lord I hope they don't change/add anything to the OT!!  It was great the way it was George!!

It was perfect even before the Special Editions!

Just checking here, but you're an adamant Star Wars fan and you hope they don't change the OT because the SE's are even more perfect than the OT?

Or was that just bad grammar?

[Darth Mandarb]

Just checking here, but you're an adamant Star Wars fan and you hope they don't change the OT because the SE's are even more perfect than the OT?

Or was that just bad grammar?

Ummm ... I'm not sure.Ã,  I didn't think it was bad grammar.Ã,  Perhaps I should have said "change/add anything more to the OT"?

What I meant was:

I thought the Original Trilogy was perfect before he made the Special Editions.

I don't necessarily mind the special editions, but I liked the original better.
- Han shooting Greedo in cold blood shouldn't have been taken out
- Luke's wussy scream while falling in Bespin shouldn't have been added

I'm a little bummed that the DVD versions are only the Special Editions but I suppose beggers can't be choosers.Ã,  I'll take what I can get.Ã, 

Only 4 more months ...

[Las Naranjas]

"It was perfect even before the Special Editions!" is the key phrase. It implies that they were perfect, then the SE's made them even more perfect.

Removal of the "even" would have been a more clear approach.

[LordHart]

I still reckon he should do an Alien Quadbox job and release the originals and then the special editions all up... hes fucking dumb if he doesn't do that... oh wait!

[veryweirdguy]

Sadly (for you guys anyway, I don't really care much ), from what I've heard Lucas wants to make even more changes to the OT when they come out on DVD.

I have heard in several places that Hayden Christensen will be replacing that other guy in the final scene (although those screenies don't look real, I think it will still happen), something to do with the other guy not getting any money or something? I wasn't 100% sure on this, I have the attention span of a.........what was I saying?

So deal with it. The DVDs will not be the OT, nor even the SE.

[Ali]

Peter Thomas, that isn't very Christian of you.

It wasn't very Christian of George Lucas to make that stupid film

There's a reason for that. What was it?

Oh yeah, Judaism.


There's one simple quick-fix for saving the Star Wars series: An all-singing all-dancing end sequence set in Yoda's hawaiian retreat with 5000 computer generated robots in hula skirts.

[DGMacphee]

Or digitally remaster the film to remove the gaffer tape from Carrie Fisher's tits.

[LordHart]

Or digitally remaster the film to remove the gaffer tape from Carrie Fisher's tits.

Or even better... the whole slave outfit... I just know that that has been the reason why Jedi is the most horrid out of all the series. :

[Pesty]

I don't particularly like 'Birth of the Empire' but, then again, I hated 'Attack of the Clones' for a long time too.

I hated 'Attack of the Clones' too, until I heard George Lucas saying that it's supposed to sound like some cheesy 50s sci-fi title. Then I thought "There is hope for him yet!" and changed the channel to watch cartoons.

[Happyhelmet]

Well unfortunately there is not really a good way to save Star Wars unless Lucas is executed on the spot right now....

...

But seriously. I believe that Lucas-related material has lost all of what it used to be. For starters there is the two awful movies he wrote, directed, and released in the past few years. The only other notable move he directed was the original Star Wars which, honestly, isn't as good as V, or VI. Empire Strikes Back was good (the best actually of all three) because he had the writing talent of Lawrence Kasdan (also did Raiders of the Lost Ark which is the darkest of all 3 "Yay for melting Nazis!!") the cinematography of Peter Suschitzky, and the direction of Irvin Kershner. Return of the Jedi was lackluster because he changed cinematographers and directors. It was only better than the original Star Wars because the writer was the same from Empire, but utterly the directing and cinematography didn't thrill me as much as Empire. (<--Better, Ha HA!)

The second way is that, in my mind, LucasArts has gone down the tubes. The main reason: Where the fuck are all the adventure games??? LucasArts along with Sierra paved the way for adventure games so long ago. We all aspire to make a game even close to the quality of games like Sam and Max, Full Throttle, The Dig, and Day Of The Tentacle, not to mention almost every one of the Monkey Island Games plus the classics: Maniac Mansion and Zak Mckracken. (Grim Fandango, Hazaa, Hazaa!!) We hold a throne to the classic company with the GUI that is one of the most useful aside from the Verb Coin. We have even created fan games from their characters and I believe they take no legal action of trying to remove them from the internet (like what happened to Kairus and Garfield: Attack of the Mutant Lasagna) They moved all of this "adventure" stuff aside and began producing Star Wars games up the ass. I had hope they would return to their roots with Full Throttle 2 and Sam and Max 2...of course I was disappointed when they were canceled saying simply:

"After careful evaluation of current market place realities and underlying economic considerations, we've decided that this was not the appropriate time to launch a graphic adventure on the PC" says Mike Nelson, Acting General Manager and VP of Finance and Operations. There is currently no plan to reduce staff."

That right there makes me wanna vomit. An even more scary realization is that aside from two Monkey Island games and Grim Fandango, none...NONE of the classics are showcased anymore on their Games page.

He has to redeem himself in three two ways:

1. Bring back the adventure games (we care about the games damn it!
2. Release the OT on DVD. No Special Edition bullshit. No editing to the films like we know you are going to do. (He's an asshole, you know he's gonna)
3. Make Episode III the darkest of them all. I wanna see blood in the streets! Show me the crimes that made Darth Vader, Darth Vader! Kill all the Jedi whoopie!!!

Right now we won't know how good Episode III will be till we see it. Even Lucas has said:
"I'm going to go from complete success to complete failure". Lucas says that he expects utter rejection from his fans once Star Wars concludes. "I'm going to make a bunch of movies like 'THX'. And if people don't like it, too bad. There will be no Schindler's List or Saving Private Ryan for me. There won't be any big dramas or Oscars."

And on that note we que the music...