Personal questions :)

Tuomas · Sun 12/02/2006 17:44:01

Cameron, been there. Damn it sucks. Don't listen to Farlander, he's never had problems in bed, I should know. Though I don't think this is the place I want to share my intim experiences since my brother reads this occasionally, and I will be meating some of these guys next summer... so.. all I can say in public is I *know* what you mean... that is if you mean what they think you mean

The Inquisitive Stranger · Sun 12/02/2006 18:48:12

Quote from: [Cameron] on Sun 12/02/2006 09:54:23
Sorry if I'm hijacking but we already have one giant thread regarding sex at the moment so I figured no point in starting a smaller one. Firstly, I have the stamina of.... something with lots of stamina, when it comes to the bedroom. Cool huh? Unfortunatley its because Mr Southbound Trouser Train never arrives at the destination. He can when it comes (no pun intended) to some other things. But during sex its a no go. What in the hell is wrong with me? :O

I guess now you know how it feels to be a woman.

Quote from: MrColossal on Sun 12/02/2006 17:19:41
Dear Deirdre,

Long time reader first time writing in!

I was just writing in to ask you how would I go about getting past the medusa creature in the desert to the left of Mannanan's cottage? My boyfriend and I have been stuck for weeks and it's starting to ruin our gameplay experience! Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Signed,
Lost in the Desert

Well, first of all, my name's spelled with an 'a' at the end, not an 'e'. I sure as hell ain't Dr. Dre. As for the answer to your question, give the medusa creature your porn collection. As a radical feminist, she'll be so appalled by the objectification of women and furniture depicted therein that she'll just spontaneously combust.

Tuomas · Sun 12/02/2006 18:51:48

I'm not sure, but aren't medusas freaking poisonous and thus dangerous? I would never have a poisonous seacreature mess with my sex life, that is if I had any... any medusas

The Inquisitive Stranger · Sun 12/02/2006 18:55:27

Quote from: Tuomas on Sun 12/02/2006 18:51:48
I'm not sure, but aren't medusas freaking poisonous and thus dangerous? I would never have a poisonous seacreature mess with my sex life, that is if I had any... any medusas

Well, if you act like a gentleman towards her, then I'm sure you won't have any problems. Except for the fact that she might see you as chauvinistic and old-fashioned, of course.

MrColossal · Sun 12/02/2006 18:57:40

I was just following CJ's lead! I didn't know if there was a Dear Deirdre column thing in England, as in Dear Abbey over here! I didn't think he might be refering to you!

Bad CJ, bad!

The Inquisitive Stranger · Sun 12/02/2006 19:00:52

I know. However, since as far as I know, I'm the only one here with a name similar to Deirdre, I thought I'd just have some fun regardless.

MrColossal · Sun 12/02/2006 19:05:00

Dear Daedroth,

I have an itchy red rash on my arms and face whenever I'm around Dagoth Ur... I've been really careful all through my life and I don't drink or smoke. Do you think I may be the Nerevarine?

Signed,
Moon and Starstruck

The Inquisitive Stranger · Sun 12/02/2006 19:12:44

Dear Moon and Starstruck,

If you answer 'no' to any of the following questions, then you may be at a high risk of being the Nerevarine.

Quote from: rharpe on Tue 07/02/2006 04:47:41
1.) Do you think pornography is wrong?
2.) Do you think fornication is wrong?
3.) Do you think cheating is wrong?
4.) Do you think adultery is wrong?
5.) Do you think immodesty is wrong?
6.) Do you think erotism is wrong?
7.) Do you think polygamy is wrong?
8.) Do you think sodomy is wrong?
9.) Do you think hedonism is wrong?
10.) Do you think incest is wrong?

Consult your doctor for appropriate medical aid.

Yours Truly,
D

Pumaman · Sun 12/02/2006 22:02:12

Quote from: MrColossal on Sun 12/02/2006 18:57:40
I was just following CJ's lead! I didn't know if there was a Dear Deirdre column thing in England

Just the excuse I've been waiting for to post this picture again:

Grundislav researches the plot for BJ5

Though that does point out that I actually mis-spelled her name ... the travesty!

Helm · Sun 12/02/2006 22:43:36

Quote from: The Inquisitive Stranger on Sun 12/02/2006 18:48:12
Quote from: [Cameron] on Sun 12/02/2006 09:54:23
Sorry if I'm hijacking but we already have one giant thread regarding sex at the moment so I figured no point in starting a smaller one. Firstly, I have the stamina of.... something with lots of stamina, when it comes to the bedroom. Cool huh? Unfortunatley its because Mr Southbound Trouser Train never arrives at the destination. He can when it comes (no pun intended) to some other things. But during sex its a no go. What in the hell is wrong with me? :O

I guess now you know how it feels to be a woman.

whoa wow instead of existentialist retort or post-modern deconstruction might I suggest a more compatible boyfriend?

MrColossal · Sun 12/02/2006 22:49:16

a vast majority of women can't... finish... by being viciously... loved...

No matter the compatibility

Helm · Sun 12/02/2006 22:51:17

I haven't viciously loved the vast majority of women (working on it) so I wouldn't really know, but in the cases where it has been going that way I've found vicious loving coupled with vicious but well-placed touching gets the job done, even if you're running old COM ports and she's Firewire.

Squinky · Sun 12/02/2006 22:51:55

I find it always help to whisper sweet nothings in my honey's ear. Then bring out the pudding....

MrColossal · Sun 12/02/2006 22:54:10

Helm: well yes adding in touching helps... But just straight... plumbing... is very hard for most women...

Squinky: honey? pudding? this isn't snack time! TEAR HER IN TWO!

Helm · Sun 12/02/2006 22:58:14

Yeah I guess. The big wildcard is mental stimulation anyway. There's been cases where you've barely started checking the pipes and because of a lot of stuff I won't even begin to try to understand she's finishing already. And let's not talk about the cases where this happens to men...

Straight plumbing for long periods of time is kinda difficult anyway, not for the reason one might think but rather because at least for me I have to be constantly entertained! You have to switch it up... Cameron's trouble isn't so inconcivable if all you're doing is plumbing.

Las Naranjas · Sun 12/02/2006 22:58:58

No! Pornography has established beyond doubt that all women can orgasm through penetration alone, as well as having only a single set of labia and enjoying anal sex immensley! All else is feminazi claptrap!

MrColossal · Sun 12/02/2006 23:02:52

Maybe try ~~getting~~ TELLING the woman to wear high heels?

*edited for politcally correctedness

Squinky · Sun 12/02/2006 23:09:29

And barking like a dog....

ManicMatt · Sun 12/02/2006 23:14:52

Quote from: MrColossal on Sun 12/02/2006 22:54:10
this isn't snack time!

Speaking of which, has anyone been affectionally bitten before? Say, on their hand, their shoulder, and their neck. Would said biting female just be mental, or is she a vampire?

Perhaps if said girl was my girlfriend, that might -just- have been weirdly acceptable, but she's not...

Helm · Sun 12/02/2006 23:18:09

Yes, if there's blood involved you might want to consider your options. Have you saved recently? If not even a restart might be in order. Try a different difficulty level, and for once, set the animation speed down to something a bit more managable?

A good day to you.